Sucks to Suck (Spider-Man/X-Men Females X Male Reader)

Brant Banter

"What took you so long?"

"I was debating on whether or not I just drop kicked you full force in your spine, leaving you paralyzed, before stealing your phone and then calling it a day." I told Brant as I swung up to a wall next to her. "Now what the fuck did you want?"

"I already told you, jackass. I wanna be promoted, my boss wants pictures of you. Did you get the camera I wanted?"

"No."

"What!? Why not!?"

"Because I've felt like shit the past couple of days and haven't stolen anything, and I'm not paying money for something I'm gonna give to you. Relax, we're here to take pictures aren't we? Why don't we just take pictures of me stealing the camera?"

"Because what fucking camera would we use to take the pictures!?"

"Use your phone you fucking moron! The same one you used to take the first couple pictures of me!" I said jumping down and getting in her face. She slowly backed up into the wall of the alley way we were in.

"That's no way to talk to the person who holds all the cards right now in this d-" Brant began to say before I punched the wall next to her, causing it to cave in slightly.

"Let's get one thing straight, Brant: You only walk right now because I allow it. You only breathe right now because I allow it. The only thing stopping me from pulling that air conditioner out of that window and onto your skull right now or even helping you in the slightest is for Gwen. If I didn't accidentally help you figure out she was The Spidergirl, you'd be dead right now." I said. She looked at me with petrified eyes before I backed up. "Now where are we going to get this stupid camera?"

"I-I-I don't know, try the R-RadioShack at the mall."

"The what?"

"What?"

"RadioShack hasn't been a thing in years."

"Well, I'm sorry but I do all my shopping online. It's something you can do when you don't only carry stolen cash."

"Are you seriously giving me attitude after I almost punched a hole through your head? I'm going to the mall still but I'm going to a store that actually exists." I said shooting a web to a building.

"Wait! How am I supposed to get there?"

"This brand new invention called 'your fucking feet'."

"If I walk from here to the closest mall it's going to be closed. Also how do I know which mall you're going to, because if I don't get pictures to go with my report on you, I'm releasing the emails!" Brant said. I'm not going to lie it's really funny watching her talk to me like she owns any actual power in this. Besides keeping Gwen's secret, I'm only doing this for the amusement of when she thinks she has power over me by threatening me with the emails.

"Okay genius, then what's your idea?"

"I... you could..." She said before she started getting flustered.

"You want to ride me?"

"WHAT!?"

"You want to hold on to me and use me as a ride to the mall?" I asked her with a smirk on under the mask. If I don't learn how to use my powers from Emma, I can at least learn how to be a fucking tease.

"I-I don't want to! It's just the most e-efficient way of doing this! And don't say it like that!" She said before walking over to me with her arms folded. She tried to find a way to wrap her arms around me without getting up and personal with me and I was secretly hoping the way she decided to hold onto me would result to her plummeting onto the pavement. Once she held onto me I didn't stop to ask "Ready?" or say "Hold on tight." I just grabbed onto my already shot web and pulled us up before beginning to swing to the mall. Brant started screaming and clutching onto me for dear life before I stopped on top of a building.

"Hey! Shut the fuck up!"

"Well I'm sorry that I'm not used to swinging over New York 60 feet in the air with the only thing stopping me from dying is my grip!"

"Yeah well if you keep screaming, people are going to notice The Spider Guy swinging in the sky with a screaming girl and then the police are gonna be on my ass before we even get to the actual illegal stuff!" I said. "Close your eyes and try to think about something else and shut up! Got it!?" Brant blew hair out of her face and nodded before standing up again and holding onto me when I got an idea. I shot a web onto her hands and over where they were on my chest.

"Hey! What are you-!?"

"Relax. This is making sure you don't fall to your death. Unless you've got a buzzsaw, my strength, Gwen to rip you off, or Black Cat's claws you won't fall." I said before shooting another web. Brant actually tried her best to keep her mouth shut. I heard some annoying eternal screams but she was trying. Then she started talking again.

"What's up with you and the goth girl?"

"You don't get to talk about her."

"Is she like your new project or something since things between you and Gwen didn't work out? Because that's pretty shitty if you did."

"How did you know about that!?"

"Gwen and I are really close friends if you haven't noticed. She just happened to be telling us when you and goth chick walked by us all lovey dovey. Did you start a relationship with her while you and Gwen were-"

"Were what!? Even if I did do it while me and Gwen were friends, which I didn't, Gwen and I weren't dating! And I think it's bullshit that she gets to be all pissy about me having another friend after saying she refuses to associate with me anymore!"

"Friends don't practically cuddle each other all the way to class."

"How would I fucking know? I only ever had the one that you stole from me! In fact, how do you fucking know!? You've only ever had the one who you stole from me!"

"I have more than one friend! There's MJ-"

"Watson is friends with everyone, she doesn't count. The only person she won't associate with is Flash. But I guess you can add him to your tally of friends!"

"Shut up! What about Kitty!?"

"Pryde isn't your friend! She was laughing with the rest of us when I fucked with you in History the other day! And after you left she wanted to play arm chair psychologist and try to help me with my problem of you for not putting you in your place again!"

"Stop changing the subject! You're still a dick for the way you acted with the goth girl in front of Gwen earlier!"

"And you're still just a cunt in general." I said before we swung in silence to the mall.