Sucks to Suck (Spider-Man/X-Men Females X Male Reader)

OH MY FUCKING GOD THE FUCKING DAZZLER IS IN MY GOD DAMN HOUSE

I took the two of them back to my apartment, or the roof of my apartment to be exact. Once we got there I let go of the two of them.

"How good are the two of you at reverse wall climbing?" I asked.

"Why?" Kitty responded.

"Because I don't need a crackhead showing up out of nowhere and seeing the Spider-Criminal talking to two X-Men about his personal life and would much rather discuss this in my apartment."

"I could probably do it." Dazzler said.

"I could just, like, phase down to your room?" Kitty chimed in.

"No you can't. I live on the third floor of a five story apartment. You're going through the window like all of the other super freaks in my life." I said.

"It just seems so, like, unnecessary."

"Cry more." I said before pulling her over to me and grabbing her by the waist again.

"S-Stop doing that!" She protested but she didn't pull away either. I maneuvered my way down to my window with Kitty in my arms while Allie would slide down a water drain while using window sills and air conditioners for footing every once and a while. I got into the apartment and dropped Kitty down on the floor before using my webs to turn on my lights. "Ow! Jerk!" Kitty huffed before standing up. Dazzler followed in right after and took a look around.

"Very... homey place you've got here." She said zeroing in on a big spot of chipped paint and a pipe partially visible. Not to mention the dirty clothes in the corner or the overfilled trash can or the mysterious leak coming from the ceiling that formed a puddle and- holy shit I live in a pig sty.

"It's livable." I responded.

"Surprised you haven't, like, used any money on anything besides flat screen TVs and PS4s."

"Hey! I have a PS5 now! I upgraded." I retorted Kitty.

"But speaking of money, like, what was up with you robbing a bank earlier?"

"Do I have to tell you? No offense but telling people who hate me about my situations isn't my favorite past time."

"Why do you keep saying I hate you?"

"It's obvious that's why! I'm not gonna pretend I'm not a big jerk but if you have a problem with me there's no reason to try to hide it."

"We are only here because you wanted to 'stop a crime', specifically referring to (Y,N)." Dazzler chimed in.

"I'm just concerned for my best friend is all. I don't know what to think of you and I don't know if I like you hanging out with her as much as you do. Especially since, like, things are weird between her and Jubilee right now because of you."

"Things are what?" I asked now confused. Rogue and Jubilee were fighting because of me?

"Um, nevermind! Just, like, tell me what is going on already!" Kitty told me. I groaned.

"Fine! I'm being blackmailed into committing crimes so a newspaper place can write hit pieces about me."

"Who still-"

"Reads newspapers yeah yeah I know if I got a dollar every time I got asked that I wouldn't have to rob banks." I interrupted Dazzler. "Anyway I was robbing the bank because of that and also to lure out some losers trying to kill me because I have a bounty on my head, which I did. His name was Hydroman and I was going to bribe him with the cash I took but then the loons from the Broship of the Mutated Rings or whatever showed up and tried to recruit me, then you showed up and then the cops showed up. Although, to be fair I don't think I was ever going to get any words out of that asshole. Whatever at least I still got the... GOD DAMMIT!"