His Dark Angel | DARKNESS SERIES #3 ✔️

Chapter 78

After spending the day upstairs with my baby I start to get hungry and it's around 11pm so I'm hoping Jason's gone to his room because I don't want to see or talk to him. Hopefully tomorrow's a better day because I've never felt so alone in this marriage.
Are we even worth fighting for? All he does is think about what Liam wants and I don't need someone like that. I'm suppose to be his wife and all he does is side with everyone but me. All I can think about is getting my baby away from them. She needs me to do that for her. She doesn't need to grow up in that environment.
Putting pillows around the lowered bed I make my way down to the kitchen and make myself a ham sandwich and grab a packet of crisps. This will do. I just make it to the top of the stairs and I see Jason exiting the bathroom he doesn't even look at me and walks in to his room and closes the door. OK. This is happening then. I made a mistake choosing Jason over my daughter and I'll never forgive myself for doing that. Because he's just proving that exact point.
I sit on the bottom of the bed and stare at the food picking at it and eat the crisps. I need to keep my strength up if I'm gonna fight this for her. She needs me.

I lay there in bed steering up at the dark ceiling and think of everything Jason said. He's right.. I have nobody other that Lexi now. He can't love me after everything I said.. Everything he said. I sigh and close my eyes feeling the tears leak out betraying me and my willingness to stay strong. I need to be strong for my girls. So if that means burning bridges then that's what I'll do. Ruby doesn't need fucking Stacey she needs me her actual mum. Well you know what I mean. I was there when her so called dad ran off and left her. I was there when she cried for something. I was the one waking up in the night with her while I was pregnant aswell. Where the fuck was Liam. Out getting drunk doing what he does best. Hurting people!

Things were never the way we made them out to be. We're clearly not ment to be. He wants Liam more than he does me. I think we're over. And that makes me sad because I love him so fucking much and now what. Nothing that's what. I've been twisted for so long ever since it came out. My husband has feeling for another woman. My god damn husband! How am I suppose to feel other than hurt and heartbroken. I'm sorry but I don't have the time or the patience for that type of shit. I have the right to be in my feels about this. I'm hurting.
If he wanted someone he could walk all over, that's not me. I'm not gonna take this type of shitty behaviour. I can only take so much and I've had enough and he doesn't seem to be bothered about my feelings or how much his thoughts and feelings affect me.
Is this what love is?

Suddenly waking up to crying I rub my eyes not even realizing I fell asleep I pick Lexi up and rock her while I get up and make my way down the stairs to make her a bottle.
Standing in the kitchen I see the lamp on in the living room and wonder what he's doing at.. 4am? I warm her bottle shushing her.
"Mummys doing it now baby, hold on" I tell her and she hiccups and cries still. Why's my life so stressful. She must be picking up on the bad vibes. Great.
Taking her bottle out and testing it I put it straight to her mouth and she drinks straight away. Good girl.
I walk out the kitchen and look into the living room and see Jason sat there with a bottle of whiskey in his hand and half of it's gone. Fuck sake.
"That's not gonna help" I say to him quietly and he shrugs.
"I'm not so alone with this, so I'll take it over you" he says and laughs.
Thanks Jason. Thank you very fucking much!
"Your fucking drunk. You need to go to bed" I tell him and he laughs again.
"You lost the right to tell me what to do hours ago when you said what you said" he tells me and I sigh.
"Whatever then drink your self to death, see if I care" I tell him and he don't even look at me. Seriously..
Walking back upstairs with a heavy heart and a pounding head I climb into bed and continue feeding my baby girl. She's all that matters to me until I get Ruby back. Jason can go fuck himself.
She finishes her bottle and falls asleep so I lay her back in my bed and lay down hoping that sleep comes soon..
I don't know how much more I can handle.