A Tale of Mischief and Mutants part 2

Take it Slow

—-Sam—-

Loki backs up slightly during his transformation. I'm in awe seeing Loki's Jotun form again. It's so incredibly beautiful the blue pigmentation in his skin is an almost alien or I guess literal alien shade of blue and his eyes are not just red but like human eye color there are touches of other colors accompanying it in his case undertones of burnt umber, orange, and maroon.

Then there're his markings other than freckles I can't think of a worthy comparison this feature has to human features. They're utterly stunning seeming almost deliberate in the way they're positioned on his skin forming intricate designs. I absentmindedly reach out to touch one of the markings decorating his cheek. He quickly flinches away from me.

"No! Don't do that, I don't want to hurt you!"

He looks panicked and has backed away from me to the other end of the bed. I'm confused by this but I'm equally concerned did something about this trigger some sort of PTSD from Thanos or something? I know the most amount of time he's ever spent in his Jotun form was when Thanos tortured it out of him using tactics to drain his magic alongside excessive amounts of heat. I speak softly not wanting to make anything worse if this is the case.

"Lo', honey, what are you talking about?"

He looks at me tentatively.

"My skin, it could freeze you."

I'm very confused at this I'd touched him in this form before and nothing happened.

"But we touched before and it didn't."

He nods slightly.

"Yes and it scared me half to death when you took my hand but thank the Norns nothing happened... I didn't want to frighten you at the time so I didn't say anything about it. I don't know how to control it or why it sometimes leaves others frostbitten and sometimes unscathed."

I realize now that when he said 'take it slow' he had really meant it. He's afraid to even touch someone in this form. He looks so afraid right now so I attempt to ease his fears.

"You just need practice and you'll figure it out."

He shakes his head.

"No I... I can't what if I hurt you?"

His fearfulness about his lack of control over something that's a part of him makes me sad at the same time I can't help but find his worry about hurting me incredibly sweet. 'Oh my god he's so freaking adorable. I can't.' I smile at him in reassurance.

"Lo' you're not going to hurt me, we're going to take this slowly okay? I'll go get some clothes on."

He doesn't protest this suggestion instead nodding slightly anxiety written in his expression. His failure to protest my suggestion of clothes tells me exactly how incredibly nervous he is about accidentally hurting me. Usually, adorably, he'd put up a pretty convincing argument as to why I should stay naked in bed with him for a little while longer.

I get up and put some pajamas on he also puts a shirt on. I come back to the bed and wrap my hand in a blanket before holding it out to him. I used a similar tactic when I learned about my ability to inflict injuries onto others.

"Take my hand."

He hesitates. I draw on a conversation about controlling my abilities I had with Ororo a few months after I first joined the X-men. I had been terrified to touch anyone because of my recent discovery of my secondary mutant ability to inflict injuries. Luckily I discovered this ability during a controlled danger room simulation with Laura as my sparing partner. Still I was just so terrified of my new ability and I didn't know if I would end up like Rogue or not.

I didn't want to take any chances of hurting the people who took me in and accepted me. I had hidden myself away from the others only daring to have physical contact with Logan or Laura. Ororo got me out of that fear by telling me that Rogue's condition was very rare even among mutants and my abilities likely just needed to be practiced.

I extend that same reassurance to Loki now feeling suddenly that he's in a very similar situation. This form has abilities he's never learned how to use or control, he's been too afraid to try to learn because of the fear of the Frost Giants instilled into him from a young age. I'm struck with a sad realization, he's afraid of himself.

"If anything happens I'll have time to pull away, so will you. And if it does happen we can try to figure out what's causing it to happen, as soon as you know that you won't have to worry about not knowing what to expect anymore. The more we understand it the safer it'll be."

He thinks over what I've said seeming to really take what I've said into consideration before nodding nervously and gingerly extending his hand to mine.