A Tale of Mischief and Mutants part 2

Strength

—-Loki—-

I'm glad that I have left the bedroom and am fully clothed when I hear a knock at the door it'll be Thor no doubt. How embarrassing would it have been if Thor had stopped by to give me the books I requested and Sam and I were in the middle of things? Clearer minds would've thought of such a situation before partaking in such activities but Sam has a way of making my mind clear as mud.

When she begins to flirt suddenly any plans I wanted to see through or thoughts I had been pondering seem irrelevant even more so when I'm holding her in my arms. When I'm with her things I obsess and fret over seem small and unimportant. In those moments it doesn't matter if anyone else in the world approves of me because she's all that matters and she approves.

I'm her's and she's mine and that's all that matters until we eventually have to leave the safety of our bed. Sam is still in our bedroom now sleeping so I answer the door before Thor wakes her by knocking so loudly again. I'm feeling a bit nervous about the conversation that may come with the books he's delivering. He smiles widely at me using a big dumb grin only my brother could pull off so genuinely.

This manages to put me at ease a bit and I smile slightly and open the door a bit wider allowing him to come inside. As he passes me he hands me a small stack of books. I look down at the title of the book on the top of the stack and feel a swell of anxiety -'A Documentation of Jotun Biology'- I speak quietly as I shut the door behind me.

"Thank you."

"It was no trouble at all."

An awkward silence settles between us. I want to have his support in this, in my attempts to take control over this side of myself, but I'm not sure what to say or if he even approves he could think it'd be better for me to keep it hidden behind Odin's spell. I speak because things are quickly getting unbearably awkward.

"Did ah, did you look through it?"

"I skimmed through a bit there's some interesting pictures in that second book there and a few things caught my interest in the first few pages of the book on top, it explains what happened with you last year."

I nod slightly avoiding eye contact, I don't know what to say to that. He's somehow speaking about this like it's normal. He places a hand on my shoulder.

"I'll leave you to do your reading just know if you want to talk for any reason I have nothing going on that's more important."

I'm relieved by this statement it seems I already have his support and I don't have to figure out what to say to request it. I smile slightly again and nod. He looks satisfied at this and starts towards the door.

"Farewell little brother."

I know he's teasing me, trying to annoy me as he knows I hate being called 'little brother' but I'm not really that upset with it right now. Considering the blatant reminder of what I am that I'm holding in my hands I care little about what adjective comes before it so long as he's calling me brother.

"Farewell brother, ...thank you."

He stops taken by surprise at me not expressing irritation over being called 'little brother' and turns back around to look at me he must only now be putting together just how anxious I am over this whole ordeal.

"Loki..."

I find myself in a hug. He pulls away and rests a hand on my neck .

"If you need anything, anything at all. You make sure you tell me. Alright?"

I nod again. Unlike I would were anyone else present I don't push him away or act disgusted due to the affection he's displaying towards me because I must admit it's nice. Nobody else needs to know. He nods at my agreement then smiles again before leaving. I sit down forgetting my anxiety for just a moment. I then sigh and return my attention to the stack of books which I've placed on the coffee table. I pick up the one on the top of the stack and begin reading.

-'Chapter 1

General Overview

Jotunheim is the home of the Frost Giants and is a planet orbiting on the outer edge of its solar system's habitable zone it also has several large planets between it and its star making the planet's surface very cold and inhospitable. The inhabitants of Jotunheim have various notable adaptations for survival in such an environment.

Statistics:

Average height:
Male: 2.7-3 meters (or 9-10 (ft)
Female: 2.5- 2.9 meters (or 8'6- 9'6 (ft)

Average weight:
Males: 160 kg (or 353 lbs)
Females: 148 kg (or 310 lbs)

Strength:
Males can lift an upwards of 15 tons and females can lift an upwards of 10 tons.'-

I can only physically lift about 7 tons, 9  if I'm really straining myself and willing to cause myself injury. This is less than Sif at around 17 tons and far less than Thor who's able to lift well over 20 tons. I guess this now makes a bit more sense as it seems Jotuns are typically weaker than Aesir under normal circumstances, being born a runt simply amplified this.

...I couldn't have ever lived up to the standards set for me. It just wasn't physically possible. I spent so much time pushing myself wondering why I couldn't keep up with the others. Tears brim in my eyes as I remember trying so hard to keep up with Thor and his friends, the constant bullying, the shame... 'Why did Odin expect me to be like Thor when he knew exactly why that wasn't possible?'

I feel a tear escape from my eye as I continue thinking of memories of me feeling just plain incompetent or perhaps lazy because I couldn't do what Thor and the warriors three could do.

"Lo' are you okay?"

As I was reading I became so lost in my thoughts that Sam managed to sneak up on me. I turn the the book around to show it to her and she skims over the page when I think she's done reading the first bit I speak.

"My- my entire life I tried to keep up with the strength of the others, it was never possible. ...and- and Odin knew that! I wish he had just told me then I wouldn't have felt so... so utterly useless!"

The tears are falling from my eyes at the statement. I didn't have to feel like such an utter disappointment! All that anguish I went through could have been avoided! Sam sits down on the couch next to me and takes the book from my hands closing it and setting it on the coffee table.

"Loki... hey, it's okay honey. I think you've read enough of that for today come here."

She embraces me and begins comforting me. I lean into her overcome with sadness and frustration about my upbringing. If just a little over a paragraph of these texts left me like this I don't know how I'm ever going to get through all of them.