A Tale of Mischief and Mutants part 2

Imperfect Love

—-Sam—-

I wake up and finish the dishes I left forgotten in the sink, I make myself a light lunch, and I eat it before I wander back into the living room. I'm going to pass right by and go tidy stuff up in our bedroom before at a glance I notice the book I placed on the table isn't in the same position I put it in. I stop in my tracks and sigh looking over my man as he sleeps.

'Why's he gotta be so stubborn sometimes?' I really hope he doesn't just constantly torment himself with that book now. I mean I know it's beneficial for him to learn about his Jotun form but not at the expense of his emotional health. I know when it comes to his emotions he's sensitive but not fragile. The concept seems like an oxymoron but in Lo's case its absolutely true.

He can take a lot of emotional turmoil but to him it probably feels twice as potent than it would to the average person. Yeah, he can probably handle it but I still don't like what I watched just that first little bit of a page do to him. He looked so lost and defeated because of it, I don't understand how a father could do that to their child adopted or not it just screams arrogance or perhaps ignorance.

During my time with the X-men I witnessed a lot of parents do the same kind of thing knowing why something was the way it was because of an ability out of their child's control yet wanting so badly for that child to somehow be able to change that part of themself. The things they'd say to my friends they'd come from a place of love but cut like a razor blade.

'Have you ever tried not being a mutant?' 'We can't wait for you to come back home as soon as these people help you fix this.' 'Once you get control we can get you back home and get back to normal.' It takes a real toll on your soul when in your parents eyes you can never live up to their expectations because of something they know you can't change.

I've seen it happen so many times, the parents usually don't hate their kids or anything but they either just can't understand or refuse to understand their child's situation. As I'm contemplating all of this Loki suddenly flinches and lets out a muffled cry in his sleep looking distressed. Immediately recognizing he's having a night terror, I shake him awake.

I won't let him spend another second in whatever dream he's having. I take a step back quickly after in case he's confused enough from the dream that he'll lash out at me. He startles awake shaking slightly. I speak gently to him not wanting to risk startling him again.

"Hey... honey It's okay, it was just a dream."

He calms down a little bit his eyes focusing on me I sit down next to him pulling him so he's leaning against me. He doesn't resist me at all and melts into my embrace as he steadies his breathing. I brush his now disheveled hair out of his face. He nods slightly.

"You wanna talk about it?"

He hesitates slightly.

"I... it was... I was like I was when Pyro..."

I nod knowing talking about nightmares is hard I've got the gist of what he's saying it was about so he doesn't need to continue trying to explain if he doesn't want to.

"How much of that do you remember exactly?"

He looks from my eyes to the floor at his next statement in a rare look of timidity, whatever he's remembering right now obviously isn't very pleasant.

"I... well... it wasn't just that time."

I try not to let my eyes well up with tears at the realization that of course the incident with Pyro was far from the only time he's ever experienced that particular sensation. I'm an idiot, how could I not realize that?! Of course Thanos would've used it against him! I don't want Lo' to brush this topic off just because it's upsetting me.

"Oh..."

He takes my hand.

"I'm okay... I'm okay now."

He takes a deep breath again to steady himself. He looks at me and smiles sadly.

"I should learn to listen to you woman."

I'm tempted to smile back but too sad to manage it at the moment.

"You read more of that book. I know. ...are you sure you're okay?"

He nods at first but it quickly becomes the least convincing nod I've ever seen.

"Odin... father, ...he allowed experimentation on Jotun prisoners. ...they figured out exactly what superheated flames did."

I don't know why but that possibly hadn't even crossed my mind that Asgard would resort to the equivalent of human experimentation on their enemies to figure out their weaknesses. I can barely think of anything to say to my husband and hug him because I can't really think of anything else to do. I know it won't even touch the amount of fucked up emotions this revelation just drug up but it's the best I can do.

"I'm so sorry."

"It's ok... I'm okay. ...what happened isn't but... I can live with it. The book's date, It was written before I was even born. It's just... it's... heavy."

I get what he's trying to say he's not excusing Odin's actions at all but understanding that Odin's perception of Frost Giants may have changed between when he approved of the experiments and when he 'adopted' Loki. I'm really impressed. Loki's heart has had to have healed a lot for him to be giving Odin this much benefit of the doubt. He goes on.

"...he didn't hate me... he just didn't know how to deal with me. Too stubborn to seek the information out from the experimentation he let happen."

'So that's where he gets it.' I pull back to look him in the eyes and nod slightly. Odin was bigoted, he made detrimental mistakes in his relationship with Loki, he didn't do his best, but he did love his adoptive son and Loki's come to accept that. That despite all of the fucked up mistakes Odin made that his father did care about him Odin just failed to show it when it counted. He smiles slightly at me then.

"That's not the only thing I learned from what I read."

I'm taken aback as a green light spreads over his body and he shifts into his Jotun form. He smiles again seeing my look of surprise.

"This is safe, so long as I'm not angry or afraid."

I smile at him as I take in the form. 'It's so beautiful...' He's allowed himself to stay in a relaxed position still leaning up against me clearly he's more comfortable with this form now that he's got confirmation that it won't just hurt me out of the blue. I lean over and kiss his forehead feeling a swell of pride at how much confidence he's built with this form in only two days.