His Passerine // Bucky Barnes // 18+

23. Focus.

I wonder if I'm being real?
Do I speak my truth or
Do I filter how I feel?
I wonder, wouldn't it be nice
To live inside a world
Which isn't black and white?

~ Wonder.
(By: Shawn Mendes.)

It had been almost a week, since I saw Bucky kissing Helen, and the day I decided to change how I feel. But I failed, horribly.

Bucky talks to her on the phone, way too often, and whenever I listen, though I try not to, I feel a ping of pain inside my heart.

I try to act as normal as possible, I'm pretty good at putting on a veil in front of everyone but as soon as I get alone... I can't seem to feel fine anymore. I feel like every feeling, I keep pushing down, comes crashing back to me.

Bucky does his workout in the gym in morning or in evening. I do at noon and archery in the evening, so, we don't cross paths in that area.

We have breakfast and dinner together, obviously. Rest of day he spends with Steve or in his room or outside the tower. Whenever we are alone, which doesn't happen very often but when it does, I try to pretend that he's just a friend... Even though he's not... He's more to me.

I was walking down to the gym, and to my surprise, Nat, Steve and Bucky were already there. Nat and Bucky were both in the ring. Steve was punching the shit out of a bag.

I internally groaned, standing at the front door, but stepped in. I was in my routine workout outfit, sports bra and high waisted tights.

"Hey guys." I greeted them, not so enthusiastically, walking towards the bench. I put my bag down.

"Hey!" I heard Steve and Nat.
Nat and Sam accompanied me frequently in the gym sessions, Steve did too a couple of times, but it was the first time Bucky did.

I walked over to the treadmill and started running. I heard, Nat and Bucky giggling and laughing behind me, I tried to ignore them.

"I taught you that, remember?" Bucky said, laughing.
"Yeah, but I'm better at it than you." Nat replied, chuckling.
"Prove it." Bucky replied, and continuing their combat.

"You guys have got to stop doing that." Steve said, standing straight and holding the punching bag in his arms.

"Stop what?" Bucky asked, stopping the fight. Nat stood facing Steve too.

"The flirty commenting thing, that you both do everytime." Steve replied, grinning at them.

"It just happens man." Bucky replied. Nat chuckled. Steve shook his head looking down.

I rolled my eyes and stopped the treadmill. And hopped off, started walking towards my towel.

"Hey Kristyn, rematch for the one in  Germany?" Bucky asked me. I scoffed, wiping sweat off my forehead, not turning to face him

"I'd kick your ass." I said, in a monotone.
"Oooh." Nat expressed.

"Is that so?" He replied, leaning on the top rope of the ring. Nat coming out of it.  Steve was sitting on the bench press.

"Yeah... But I'm not in the mood today. Some other day, maybe." I replied, Sitting on the bench, looking at my feet.

"Not in the mood or scared you might end up losing, Stark." He said, raising his brows and smirking. I didn't reply. Nat and Steve were watching us.