His Passerine // Bucky Barnes // 18+

33. I Told Him.

I try to turn off my mind
Say I'm doing just fine
But I'm screaming inside like,
Say these words on repeat
While I'm trying to breathe
Now you're counting on me
So I fake a smile
But I know you know me too well
But it's alright
You're like heaven when I'm hell.

~Fake A Smile.
(By: Alan Walker, Salem Ilese.)

I walked over to the elevator and stepped in. I had a blank brain, nothing at all. I didn't know what to feel or think, I felt loss of words and emotions. I couldn't hear anything else just the sensations of my own heartbeat and breathing.

The elevator doors opened and I absent-mindedly stepped out, walking towards my floor. I pushed the door and walked in, slowly. I was feeling like I was losing everything all over again. My brain wasn't giving any positive responses but only the ways I could lose everything and everyone I love.

"...Kristyn" I heard something, not fathoming my surroundings.
"Kristyn!" I heard Bucky shout. I broke out of my own spell. He was holding me by my upper arms with a stiff grip, shaking me slightly.

I looked at him, after blinking a few times. Bucky had a distressed face. My breathing was shallow and uneven.
I wrapped my hands around his torso, soundly.

After a second, he hugged me back, exquisitely. He wrapped his hands over my shoulders, rubbing them softly. I closed my eyes and started taking deep breaths, inhaling his scent. Calming myself down in his arms.

I felt better after a while. I pulled back slowly, opening my eyes. I put on hands on his chest, he put his on my back. Looking at me.

"Don't leave me, please." I mumbled, almost in a whisper, with sad eyes.
Bucky was looking at me, holding me as if I'll fall apart any moment.

"Never." He replied, before placing his lips on my forehead, I closed my eyes at the gesture. He pulled back and I looked up at him.

We both walked over to the couch and sat down, He put his hand over my thigh, massaging it a little. We both didn't say anything for a while.

"He knows?" Bucky asked slowly and I nodded.
"I told him... Just now." I murmured, looking at my hands. Bucky didn't say anything.

"He didn't know before, he called me to talk about me birthday next week. But... I couldn't hide it from him any longer." I replied, looking down.

Bucky hummed in response and slid
closer to me and pulling me into a hug, I hugged him back. We both didn't say anything for a minute.

"It's your birthday next week?" Bucky asked frowning, with a slit of humour in his voice, still hugging me.

"Yeah... 21st." I replied, smiling a little to myself. He pulled back and was looking at me in shock.
"21st! And you didn't tell me!" He exclaimed, with a shocked expression. I chuckled.

"It didn't come up." I replied, grinning lightly.
"That doesn't justify this, Passerine." He said, crossing his hands over his chest and leaning back on the couch, pouting, making me giggle.

"Well, now you know." I replied, smiling at his childish act.

"I still don't know the date." He said, looking forward, pouting. I chuckled slowly.