I Blame Me (Tododeku) [Completed]

80 ~ Not Enough

Midoriya's POV

I couldn't stop the crying, and it quickly turned into sobbing. I turned more towards Todoroki, grabbing onto him and pulling him close. "M-Me to-o. I-I'm so sorry-y!" I cried into his chest, hiccups making my speech choppy. I wasn't sure how much of it was even understandable, but Todoroki seemed to get it either way. The half n' half teen pulled me under his chin and started raking his fingers through my hair.

I clung onto him as I cried, messing up his shirt, though he didn't seem to mind. "I'm-m sorry, Todo. I w-would mis-s this too." I felt selfish and like a real ass. "Shh. It's okay. I'm right here." Todoroki whispered, petting my hair as I sobbed like a baby. "I'm, s-so self-ish. I knew it would hurt-rt you and-d I still went and pulled someth-thing like that anyway-ay! How c-could I call myself a he-ro after that-t? You would-ld be hurt by m-y actions. How-ow could I have not realized-"

"Midoriya." Todoroki interrupted. "It's not selfish to feel, don't you ever think that. Heroes get sad and cry. Heroes get hurt and bleed and bruise. Just because they have the title of hero doesn't make them any less human then anyone else." Todoroki spoke softly but sternly. It made shivers run up my spine. I coughed as I cried, feeling like a horrible human being for even thinking of causing other people pain like that. I could feel Todoroki's pulse on my forehead as I snuggled closer to him. I sniffed as tears ran down my cheeks.

"I know I've told you before that even heroes cry sometimes. Out of everyone, I know you understand best that even heroes have their limits, not only physically but mentally too. You shouldn't feel the need to hold yourself in a standard higher than that. You are still human." Todoroki's words had a finality to them that I have never heard from him before. His voice was comforting and the hand in my hair multiplied that.

I coughed out another sob as I held onto him. I felt relieved that I didn't have to try so hard to be perfect anymore and there's someone here for me, even if I am not. I cried and cried, and Todoroki held me all the while. "Shh. I know. It's okay." Todoroki whispered reassurances, petting my hair as he gave me forehead kisses every now and then.

Despite feeling a bit better, tears still streamed down my face. I wasn't sure if I was feeling relieved because of Todoroki's words or still overwhelming guilty. "It's not wrong to have emotions, Mido. How to deal with them is what we need to work on." Todoroki whispered, raking his fingers through my hair. I nodded against his chest, not feeling up to talking. I was exhausted both physically and emotionally. Todoroki's warmth was soothing and his fingers worked like magic.

All the tense muscles, from my finger tips all way through my back and down my legs, relaxed. My mind settled like sand to the ocean floor. Curled up in Todoroki's arms made everything else disappear. The worry of going back to school in a couple of days weakened. The pit of loneliness seemed to have been filled a bit. My world felt as though it could stop in the warmth of Todoroki's embrace. The normally overwhelming feel of worthlessness, felt like nothing more than a passing thought. Todoroki pulled all the little worries out as he runs his fingers through my hair. The small, gentle pulls of a snarl caught on his fingers being the most stubborn thoughts.

Imagining my negative thoughts being dragged out by his fingers through my hair, brought a smile to my face. In my head, each one was different. Some going kicking and screaming, causing snarls in my hair. Others loving Todoroki as much as I do and letting go easily. It was silly and, if said out loud, wouldn't make sense to others, but it was comforting none the less.

I grinned at the thought, curling just a bit closer to Todoroki. "I appreciate you and everything you have done and do for me. I know I don't say it nearly enough, but I really do. You mean a lot to me." My words came out hushed, no more than a whisper, but I know Todoroki heard every word. His grip around me tightened a bit.