I Blame Me (Tododeku) [Completed]

9 ~ Why The Hell Not?

Midoriya's POV

Todoroki was out cold, dead asleep. He was laying his head on the bed, while the rest of his body was on the chair he pulled up to the bed. He looked very comfortable, I was the exact opposite of that. My whole body hurt, and my nightmares would flash through my head every time I closed my eyes.

'Well, sleep's out of the question.' I thought, looking back down to Todoroki. 'Even if I was tired, it hurts to lay down.' I sighed, as the voices started filling the silence. Though it was painful, I laid down on my side, facing the sleeping Todoroki. Soon enough, I found myself getting drowsy, and I let it consume me. The voices left as I sunk into a blissful sleep.

I hadn't even realized that I had fallen to sleep until I heard Todoroki calling me. I rolled onto my back, forgetting that it was injured. I quickly sat up, wanting to cry. I heard someone giggle quietly. 'That was not Todoroki.' I thought, getting a bit nervous. I looked to my right and found Todoroki and Recovery Girl.

"Good Morning!" I said, louder than needed. "You're sure lively this morning." Recovery Girl stated, walking closer to the bed. "Yeah! Todoroki being here made sleep easier!" I said, yawning. "That's good." She said, taking a seat in the chair Todoroki slept in last night. I looked over to Todoroki and felt pretty bad right off. He has dark bags under his eyes and his hair was complete mess.

"Yeah, it is, but umm, T-Todoroki, you didn't sleep much last night did you?" I asked, knowing he probably didn't. "I dozed but I was too worried to sleep." Todoroki said, yawning. "O-Oh, I'm sorry." I said, feeling even worse. 'He lost a bunch of sleep because of me.' I thought. "Hey, it's not your fault." Todoroki said, instantly looking a little more awake.

"But-" I barely got a word out before Todoroki interrupted me. "No 'but's', just focus on yourself for once." He said sternly. "O-Okay." I stuttered, surprised by the tone he used. It reminds me of when he was talking to me before our fight during the Sports Festival. "Well, we still have to heal you so, Todoroki, if you would so kindly leave?" Recovery Girl asked, looking at him with a closed eye smile. Todoroki said his good byes and left.

After healing the majority of my injuries, she turned to her desk, writing something down. "I think you should be able to attend your classes today." She said, not looking up at me. I tried to smile, "oKay..." I said, my voice quivering and uneven. She looked back to me and my pathetic excuse for a smile.

"Young child, if you would like, I can keep you another day." I really wanted to except her offer, but I can't just miss a day. "No thanks. I can't fall behind everyone else." I smiled the smallest smile. "If you really want to." She grabbed the slip of paper from her desk, handing to me. "Show this to All Might and Aizawa and you'll be okay."

"Thank you, Recovery Girl." I said, taking the paper from her. "Of course. Now go get ready for school and take care of yourself." Recovery Girl stated, turning back to her desk. "Thank you again!" I said, walking out of the room. I closed the door behind me and sighed heavily.

'How am I supposed to face my classmates? I almost killed some of them. This is an issue.' I thought, turning left and starting to walk to the dorms. I got there and decided to try and sneak to my room. I opened the door, quiet as possible, and stepped inside. I walked into the lounge area and was greeted by a tired Todoroki.

"Oh, so Recovery Girl let you go?" Todoroki asked, looking at me from his place on the couch. "Mhm." I hummed, nodding my head. "Good." Todoroki said, looking back to the TV. I started tip-toeing further in, and ran into Sero, who was coming out of the kitchen. "Oh! Sor-" I felt so bad... so I interrupted him. "I'mSoSorry! Sero Please, ForgiveMe?" I spoke quickly, bowing as I expected him to refuse my request.

Sero laughed, rubbing the back of his head. "Hey, I'm not the one that almost died. Of course I'll forgive you." He said. I looked up "R-Really?!" I asked. "Yeah!" He answered happily.

We talked a bit longer before I walk pass him, waving and smiling. I walked to my room quickly, sinking to the floor the second I walked in and closed the door. "They're lying to you." I looked around, nobody. "N-No they're not." I said back, not really knowing why.

'They all know that you're just a blood Thirsty Murderer.' The voice was familiar, and I soon identified it as Mr. Aizawa's. 'You killed your own mother, why not just die yourself?' He eventually spoke to me. "Would you leave me alone if I did?" I replied quietly. "Why wouldn't I?"

He had a point. "Sure, why the hell not." I mumbled. I planned out how this was going to end while I got ready for school. I was ready quite fast and left my dorm. I went back down stairs and was greeted by an angry Kacchan. I wanted to run and hide, but my body moved me to where he was instead.

"H-Hey Kacchan." I said, catching his attention. He turned back to me, quicker than I have ever seen. He engulfed me in a strong hug, catching me off guard. "I'm so sorry Izu! I shouldn't have said something like that!" Kacchan called me by my kindergarten nickname. I froze, he hadn't called me that in years. "Kacchan, please let me go. I can't breathe and your crushing me." I wheezed out, tapping his back. My back and ribs screamed in pain as he let go of me. "Sorry!" He yelled, jumping back. Truthfully, I didn't want an apology, I wanted him to scream cusses at me and tell me to piss off.

A few people teased Kacchan for being 'a softy', making him mad. I had quickly realized, people were either nervous when approaching, almost too chill when talking with me, or completely avoiding me. Uraraka, Iida, Todoroki, and I all walked to school together. All my classes were boring, like always, and I had a lot of time to think of the best way to say good bye to everything and everyone. I didn't eat lunch, 'cause even looking at food made me want to puke.

Before I knew it, the school day had ended and everyone was off in their own rooms or in the common room talking like normal. I had a plan figured out, so I made sure no one was in the hall when I took the elevator up to the roof. I reached into my back pocket and pulled out the clean razor blade I had brought with me, looking at it between my fingers before sighing and looking at the dark sky. I looked back down and carved the word 'Murderer' into my left arm.

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