I Blame Me (Tododeku) [Completed]

72 ~ Temperatures

Midoriya's POV

'I feel horrible. I made Kacchan and Auntie come over and worry about me as I panicked for two hours. I am a idiot. And I'm selfish and they probably hate me. Wait... Todoroki, Aizawa, Mic! Oh, they positively hate me now! Stupid nightmare it's all you fault! No, what if they decide they don't want me anymore? I'll be alone again. I don't want to be alone. I want to stay here with Aizawa and Mic. No, that's selfish. If they don't want me anymore then I will leave. Why did I ever think they wanted me anyway? A stupid, useless, Deku. I'm lucky they even had me here for break. I've done nothing but cause them trouble, no wonders they don't want me anymore.'

I felt a tear slide down my nose and other cheek as I realized how utterly useless I am. "Deku? Hey, why are you crying? What did I do?" Kacchan asked loudly. I shook my head as I sat up, my world spinning slightly as I did so. "It's not your fault. It's mine." I said, smiling sadly as I placed my hands on my lap, staring at them. "You guys probably hate me now. I've been so needy and annoying as of late. I'm sorry." I mumbled, tears falling from my eyes again. "Just tell me. I understand, I hate myself too. You can just leave me here. I'll be okay on my own." I kept my voice even as more and more tears fell, splashing down onto my hands. "How in the world could you even think of something so damn preposterous? How the hell do you see us doing this for you as 'hate'? Are you an idiot? We're here 'cause we care about you, stupid." Kacchan said, looking almost genuinely confused.

"And what the fuck do you mean? 'Needy and annoying'? You've been dealing with this shit by yourself for four and half months! How the Hell is that needy? It's not. It's called trying to get better. Fuck that man!" Kacchan yelled, standing up in the middle of it out of pure frustration. "Come on. I'll prove you, and those damned thoughts of yours, wrong." Kacchan said, grabbing my bicep and pulling me up, kicking the door open, and walking out of the room. I stumbled over my feet as the explosive blonde pulled me behind him. I tripped into him a few times as we walked down the stairs. "Hey assholes! Deku just told me he thinks we hate him because of his panic attack." Kacchan yelled, jumping the last two steps, dragging me down the last four faster than my feet could move, making me stumble face first into his back.

I straightened my stance and pulled my arm away from Kacchan's grasp, hiding behind him as I waited for someone to say that they do indeed hate me. "No, baby! We don't hate you! We're just worried is all." Auntie Mitsuki spoke, coming up to me. I pulled myself out of the way of her hug as I clung to Kacchan, feeling overwhelmed by too many emotions. I scratched at my arms, finding new bandaging on them.

'She's lying. They all hate you.'

I scratched more, feeling a blood started filling the bandages and get on my fingers. Words quickly muddled into nothingness as I stuffed my face further into Kacchan's back, squeezing my eyes closed.

'They hate you.'

'Who would love a murderer?'

'They hate me. They all hate me. They just don't want to get any of the blame for my death.' I thought, trembling behind Kacchan as I started panicking again. A cool hand on my still bare back snapped me back into a more focused mind. "Take a deep breath, love. Focus. That's right. In and out. What temperature is the hand on your back? Can you tell?" I wasn't exactly sure who was talking, but I knew it was male. "I-It's cold, but not freezing." I mumbled into Kacchan's shirt. "Good. And what temperature is Bakugo's back?" "Um, warm? Comfortable?" I stated as more of a question, than a statement.

"Yeah. And how about the floor under your feet?" 

I wiggled my toes on the hardwood floor under me. I felt frustrated when I couldn't tell the difference between my feet and the floor.

'Pathetic. Temperatures are easy. How can you be so incompetent?'

I shook my head, clutching onto Kacchan's shirt a bit harder. "That's okay." The male voice quickly caught as Kirishima's. "Kiri? Is that you?" I asked, making sure I wasn't going insane. "Yeah, it's me. I came with Bakugo." Kirishima replied. "I was really worried when I woke up to Bakubro screaming at Mitsuki to start the car. He said Todoroki called and that you weren't doing very well. I'm glad you're okay though." Kirishima explained, the tightness in my back relaxing some as he spoke.

"S-So you came because you wanted to? No-Not because you were forced?" I asked, turning my head just enough to see Kirishima out of the corner of my eye. "Of course, you're my bro! And trust me, everyone else really cares too. Otherwise, wouldn't they just walk away? They wouldn't have called Bakubro to try to help you if they hated you, would they?" Kirishima reasoned, an overly bright smile displayed on his lips. "Y-Yeah, I guess that's true." I mumbled, turning my head back into Kacchan's shirt. I took in a deep breath before letting go and stepping away from him.

"Sorry Kacchan, I wrinkled your shirt." I said, still standing behind him. "Whatever. Nothing that can't be fixed." Kacchan shrugged before walking over to the couch and plopping down, Kirishima following soon after. It got quiet and awkward quite quickly after that, leaving eyes either on the t.v., or on me. I was only now realizing the t.v. was on, something about the release date of some new anime. "Oh! I think I saw something on this one before. It's on the top ten most awaited anime series world wide, right?" I asked, keeping my eyes on the screen as I made my towards the couch, already knowing where I wanted to sit. I planted my butt down between Aizawa and Mic, forcing Aizawa to scoot over a little as I had kind of forced myself in. "Yeah. It'll be releasing in December of this year. People are really hyped about it." Aizawa replied, apparently unbothered by me stealing his spot next to Mic.

"Even the DVD's that are being sold online are sold out. The back-order line is insane." Kirishima added from his place practically on top of Kacchan. "People are stupid. Wouldn't you want to watch it first before buying it? If you end up hating it, you'll have a copy of DVD's that you're never going to use. And re-sale is technically illegal." Todoroki spoke, looking sorta confused. "I agree, that's why I'm waiting. The only problem with that is, most people think like that, so getting them after it releases publicly is near impossible." I said, feeling a whole lot calmer now that a steady conversation was started.

"And then there's the smart little fuckers that buy it, watch it, and then if they don't like it, return it, and get their money back. Then it's snatched right back up." Auntie added in, a smirk plastered on her face. "See? Another reason why I wait. Aunt Mitsuki does that so if I'm interested, I can always borrow it from her." I smiled back at her before shiver went down my spine and goosebumps raised on my arms. I looked down, finding a bare chest and bloody bandages. "That's smart on both sides. On one hand, if you don't like it, you're not losing any money and if you do, money well spent. And you watch it before committing to the purchase." Mic replied, looking from Auntie Mitsuki to me.

"Yep, we know!" I smiled at Auntie, her smile following soon after. "Anyways, I'm getting cold with no shirt on and I need to put on clean bandages before the cuts get infected, so I'm gonna head up stairs real quick." I said, tapping Aizawa's and Mic's knees before getting up and heading towards the stairs. "I'll come with you."

I looked behind me, finding Todoroki walking up to me. "Sure!" I chirped, smiling at him and waiting for him to catch up.

1415 words