I Blame Me (Tododeku) [Completed]

35 ~ B-Blood?

Midoriya's POV

I was quick to lean on the door after closing it as I heard a slight chuckle from the half n' half teen on the other side. "I'm going to go get dressed and then make breakfast, I'll see you in a bit." I heard Todoroki call, amusement clear in his tone. "O-Okay, thanks!" I hollered still slightly embarrassed by what Todoroki had offered.

I listened as my dorm room door opened and then closed again, sighing a bit as I pushed myself off the door, walking over to my sink. I looked in the mirror realizing what Todoroki could do with just a couple words. I slid off the shirt that I had just put on, setting on the counter after folding it somewhat decently. I stared at the mirror, seeing a small bump on my stomach. 'Oh my god! I really like am getting fat!' I thought, turning to see how bad it was.

"Oh, that's not too bad." I mumbled, sighing slightly as I looked at the small stomach there. It wasn't more than a pack bump, so I wasn't as worried as I walked to the tub. I turned on the water, finishing getting undressed while waiting for it to warm up, before plugging it and moving to wait for the tub to fill. I carefully take all of my bandages off so they won't get wet.

I look in the mirror again, looking at all the little white scars that shown clearly on my toned skin. I looked away, feeling a bit ashamed of myself and a painful pit in my abdomen. "Pfft, mirrors, right?" I laughed at myself, trying to cheer myself up a bit, as I turned around, looking at my door and wall. 'Dammit.' I thought, clenching my teeth.

'I left the razors on my desk. I was planning to cut one more time before bre- wait, I was?' My own thoughts confused me as I didn't realize that I was going to cut. I shook my head and slap my cheeks as I remember how risky that'd be, especially now with my freedom on the line. I walked over to the tub, turning the water off before sliding in.

I winced as the warm water covered each and every cut, well the ones on my legs. I looked at the word carved into my left arm as the pit in my stomach turned and twisted into a tighter knot. I looked away quickly grabbing my shampoo and washing my hair, doing the same with my conditioner before using my watermelon body wash. I rinsed off, my movements getting faster as my mind starting to race with degrading thoughts.

"I-It's okay. I'm okay." I mumbled to myself, hurrying to get out of the tub. I grabbed my towel, padding myself down quickly before wrapping it around my waist and rushing out of the bathroom. My room felt uncomfortably cold against my damp skin. I stood there, feeling more relaxed now that I was out of the small, warm room. I hadn't realized how strained and fast my breathing was until I tried slowing it down.

"It's okay now." I said to myself, breathing out a puff of air. I walked to my desk, looking at the green box full of razors before grabbing my phone and walking back to the bathroom. I left the bathroom door open to make me feel better as I changed back into my clothes. I looked in the mirror sighing as my chest felt sore from the panic I felt.

'Why the panic though?' My thoughts asked. 'The mirror? Well no, that wasn't enough to make me panic. The scars? No, I see those all the time.' I went through what I did before, trying to find an answer. 'Water off. Stinging. Arm. Murderer. Pi- Murderer...' I felt my mind catch on that one word as my body went rigid. I looked down at my trembling hands.

My finger tips were freezing as I rubbed them together, something I had done for years to calm myself. I watched my hands as the trembling started to calm down. That is until I saw blood cover them. I turned on my heel, not thinking much of anything at all as I ran to the door, flinging it open before sprinting down the hall.

I watched my feet as I ran down the stairs, the only thing on my mind being Todoroki or maybe Bakugo. I turned sharply soon finding myself heading towards the common area and kitchen. I slowed down slightly my eyes searching everywhere before catching a flash of red and white. My feet moved before I could even think as I stumbled into the kitchen, pretty much knocking over Todoroki as I slammed into him.

"Woah! Hey! Hi! Woah." Todoroki breathed out, my bear hug obviously not expected as he wrapped his arms round me. "Hey, what's wrong? You're trembling." Todoroki asked, running his hand up and down my back. "J-Just unexpected panic and-" I gulped, as I mumbled into Todoroki's chest. "And?" Todoroki pressed gently.

I pulled myself and Todoroki closer as I tightened my grip in his shirt. "I- My- Well- Just- Nng." I couldn't make a complete sentence and I was tripping over my tongue. "Shh. It's okay. Let's just eat for now, okay?" Todoroki asked, shushing me as his one hand ran up and down my back as the other glided through my fairly wet, green hair. "O-Okay. Pancakes, right?" I asked, still sorta craving them from yesterday morning.

"Yep, with bacon, eggs, hot cocoa or coffee. I made enough for everyone too." Todoroki replied, sounding quite proud of himself. I let out a small sigh of amusement as I leaned back, feeling better now that Todoroki had helped me calm down. "Good job, Todo. Now I want some, so gimme!" I demanded, playing with him.

"Ugh, my little Mido is so needy." Todoroki said, putting the back of his hand on his forehead, his eyes closed. "It's just too cute." Todoroki said, waiting a moment before peeking one eye open. I felt my face heat up at the compliment. "S-Shut Up! Weren't you taught not to lie?" I said embarrassed, mumbling the last part.

"Fucking Deku! What have I said about sayin' shit like that?!" I flinched, looking back to find Kacchan, Kirishima, not surprisingly, next to him. "Yeah, yeah. Food!" I said, hollering at Todoroki. "Okay, okay. I got it. Here." Todoroki replied, handing me a plate full of food.

"Tell me if you don't like it." Todoroki said, looking stern on the outside, but I could tell he was feeling a bit insecure about it. "You're cooking is always good, don't worry." I said, sitting down to eat. I took a bit of the scrambled egg and dipped it in the extra syrup.

"Mhmm! Heavenly!" I mumbled, loving the fluffy egg. I grabbed a bit of pancake, sticking it in my mouth, and having to force myself to refrain from almost tackling Todoroki again. "I love it! Thanks Shoto!" I hollered, my mouth cleared of food because I have at least some manners.

"Glad you like it, Izuku~." Todoroki said, making me freeze and look up at him with my, now red, cheeks stuffed with half a pancake. "What? You called me by my first name." Todoroki said, his smirk only growing. I swallowed all of the half chewed pancake, think back to a few moments ago. 'I totally did!' I thought, making me fairly uneasy.

"Ah! I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to rude, I promise!" I said, slamming my hands on the table. "Deku, fucking chill. The bastard's just messin' with you." I looked over to Kacchan, who was serving himself some of the breakfast. "Oh, you'll like the eggs, they're fluffy." I said, knowing, but not really caring about, how weird it is to know how someone likes their eggs.

I heard Todoroki chuckling from in front of me, making me curious. "Wha- Wait! You totally played me!" I yelled in a fun, bantering way. Todoroki doesn't even try to hide his laugh anymore as he busts a gut, making me feel totally stupid.

1374 words