I Blame Me (Tododeku) [Completed]

44 ~ I'm Sorry!

Midoriya's POV

I walked slightly behind Kacchan and Kirishima as they were laughing, yelling, and talking. I felt like maybe I had done something wrong and made Todoroki worry again.

'Burden.'

I flinched, dropping my bags as I grabbed my ears, tears burning my eyes. I could barely see as the two in front of me turn toward me.

'Worthless.'

'Pathetic.'

'Weak.'

I bent down squeezing my ears harder as the voice tried to destroy me from inside. The voices of Kirishima and Kacchan sounded as if I was under water. I soon found myself in Kacchan's lap wrapped in something soft. It was thrown over my head and gave me something to focus on. I shivered as the wetness of my cheeks made me cold. "Hey, can you hear me? Midoriya?" I recognized the soft tone as Kirishima's as I was rocked. "Uh huh." I responded, wiping my face before lifting the blanket off my head as I looked at the red head.

"Hey, bro! Better?" Kirishima asked, smiling brightly. "Ugh, turn that shit off. It's too bright!" Kacchan complained, throwing his head on the back of my neck. "Hahaha! Took the words right out of my mouth, Kacchan. Yeah, all better." I responded to the both of them, giving a small smile of my own as I got up off of Kacchan. "Thanks guys, that really came out of nowhere, huh?" I laughed at the ended, my hand gripping the back of my neck.

Both of the other boys looked surprised as I grabbed my bags off the ground. "Let's go!" I said, turning around and starting on the way to the apartments. "Uh, Deku. Stop." Kacchan ordered softly, weirding me out a bit. "Yes?" I asked, turning around. "If you're 'all better', then why are you still crying?" Kacchan asked, pointing at my face. "Huh?" I asked, raising one of my hands, touching my cheek, feeling a tear slip across my finger tips.

"I'm crying? I'm crying. I-I don't know. I feel better." I said, rubbing the tears away with the the back of my wrists. "Oh, not this bull shit again." Kacchan groaned, rolling his eyes. "Haha! Remember what Kami did when you couldn't stop crying!" Kirishima laughed, walking over to me and putting his arm on my shoulder. "Yeah, I think I weirded him out with my response." I laughed, starting to walk with the rock quirked teen.

We laughed at different memories with each other, Kacchan jumping in at some point. Before I knew it, we were at the complex. "Do you want us to come with you, bro?" Kirishima asked, his arm still around my shoulders. "Nah, I'm not crying anymore so it'll be fine." I replied, stepping away from the duo. "Okay, see ya later!" Kirishima smiled, walking away with Kacchan.

I dragged myself up to my apartment, tired from walking and socializing. I put everything down, grabbing the bag with my food in it, only to find the noodles and chicken covering the bag and the Styrofoam that was holding it busted open. I sighed, throwing it away. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I pulled it out, seeing it was from Todoroki. 'Did you get home okay?' I read to myself, smiling a bit. 'Yeah, just got in, you?' I replied, going to my room and grabbing my clothes hamper, throwing the new clothes and my dirty ones into the washer. I stripped my sweatshirt off and put it in as well. I walked back into my room, putting up a new poster before grabbing new clothes and bathing supplies.

I went into the kitchen, grabbing my phone, reading Todoroki's reply. 'I got home safe, thanks for asking.' I smiled, not replying as I got ready for a shower, taking my sweats off as well as bandages off my legs. 'Not as much a blood as before.' I thought, knowing that the cuts were healing. I turned the water on, slipping in as the warm water, slide down my back, all the stress from the day running off with it. I grabbed my razor before remembering that my legs were covered in cuts, so I couldn't shave safely.

I looked at the razor in my hand, looking at the small blades in the head of it. Before the thought processed all the way, I broke the head off, the small blades falling right into my hand as soon as I flipped it over. I smiled sadly as the sharp blade slid across my once clear skin. I cut my right arm, watching as the water mixed with blood and ran down the drain. One. Two. Five. Ten. I stopped. I moved to my left, dodging the word spelt out in scar tissue, repeating what I had done to my right arm. I felt better, a weight I hadn't realize had built up had been released.

Once I completely comprehended what I had just done, I panicked, quickly turning off the water and practically ran out of the shower picking up my phone. I dialed Todoroki, my wet hands and hair dripping onto the screen. I paced as I grabbed my towel, patting off some water quickly. The phone rang twice and then Todoroki picked up. "Hey, Mi-" I didn't hesitate when cutting Todoroki off. "I'm Sorry! I was okay and then I wasn't. The water turned red as I cut and- And I Panicked And I Didn't Know What To Do! So I Called You And I'm Sorry! It Just Happened And I Didn't Mean To!" I went from talking, to speed talking, to speed yelling as I shivered from the cold air hitting my damp skin and hair.

"Hey. Hey. It's okay. I'm on my way. Call Kirishima or Bakugo and get them there to help you. I'll be there soon, okay?" Todoroki instructed, obviously trying to get me to calm me down. "Okay." I said, just hearing his voice made me feel a bit better. "Fuyumi! I need you to drive me, get ready!" Todoroki's voice was quieter as he yelled to someone else. "Hey, Mido. What're you going to do after we end the call?" Todoroki asked, making sure my panicked self knew what I was going to do. "Uh, Call Kacchan or Kirishima and get them here." I said, hearing my voice crack as tears started filling my eyes. "Good, make sure to breathe too. I'm going to let you go. You're going to call them right after I hang up." Todoroki said, his calm voice helping still my racing heart. "M'kay. Bye." I wept, tears falling from my eyes. "Bye."

Once the line cut off, I wiped off my wet screen, ending up being pointless as tears replaced the water. I sniffled and called Kirishima. It rang a few times before he answered. "Hey!" Kirishima greeted, happily. "Need you." I sobbed, my voice breaking as I broke down at the sound of myself. "Okay. I'm on my way, have the door unlocked, okay?" Kirishima said, the sound of rustling coming from the other line. I nodded as I walked out of the steaming bathroom. "Midoriya, I can't hear nodding." Kirishima pointed out. "I'm Sorry." I cried, my own voice making me cry harder. "It's okay, we're almost there." Kirishima comforted, indirectly saying Kacchan was with him.

"Hey, breathe." Kirishima reminded me as I had apparently forgotten to. I breathed in and out, sobs making it uneven and hitched. I walked into the bathroom and slid my clean boxers and gym shorts on. I keep the phone up to my ear as I watched blood dripping from my arm and hand. "Kir-Kirishima! It won't stop!" I cried, the stream of blood making me feel even worse. "I'm almost there. Hey, breathe. We're at your building, just a bit longer. Where are you?" Kirishima asked, calmly but sounding out of breath. "The bath-throom." I cried, choking on my sobs. "Okay. We're coming in." Kirishima said before I heard the door open.

"First door on the left." I heard Kacchan say as the fast foot steps got closer. I poked my head out the door, seeing the two walking quickly. I stepped out, practically jumping on Kirishima as streams of tears fell from my eyes. "Hey, it's okay, we're here." Kirishima whispered, not seeming to mind being tackled to the floor, returning my hug. "Kiri, he's bleeding." Kacchan said from behind the red head. I gripped the back Kirishima's shirt. "I-I didn't m-mean to!" I hollered, weeping into Kirishima's shoulder. "I know, I know." Kirishima responded calmly, rocking me and rubbing my back as Kacchan walked into, what I assume was, the bathroom. I listened to the foot steps as Kacchan walked back out.

"Hey, bud. Does Todoroki know?" Kacchan asked from behind me. I nodded as I sniffled, coughed, and shivered. I felt a towel be thrown on my head as I was rocked and embraced. I calmed down as I was slumped against the red head. "Deku, can I wrap your cuts?" I heard Kacchan ask from behind Kirishima, where my arms and hands were. I quickly moved them to in between mine and Kirishima's chests, the blood running down my bare chest, as I shook my head 'no'. "Bud, we gotta stop or at least reduce the bleeding." Kacchan said calmly. I shook my head again as I laid under the towel and on top of Kirishima.

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