I Blame Me (Tododeku) [Completed]

76 ~ Please Don't Leave Me

Todoroki's POV

Stirring from beside me woke me up. As I looked over to whatever was disturbing me from my sleep, I found that 'whatever' was actually a 'whoever'. Midoriya tossed and turned, his eyebrows scrunching up, creating a crease. I rolled over so I was facing him and pulled him into my arms. "Sshhh. It's not real. I'm right here." I whispered, using my fingers to gently stroke his face. I traced my fingers from just above his temple, down his cheek, and to his jaw. The small whimpers and stirring slowed to a stop, his face relaxing as he flipped his back to me.

The sleeping boy scooted back into me, making himself comfortable. "It's okay. Just go back to sleep." I whispered once again, watching as his stiff shoulders sunk into a more lose posture. I wrapped my arms around the small of his waist, pulling him in just a bit closer. I stuffed my nose into his hair, the faint smell of hospital, watermelon, and me invaded my nose. The scent was all too familiar, reminding me of the day I spent in the hospital, hoping and praying he'd make it through. I shook my head, dispelling the thoughts. I moved my nose to his neck, looking at his freckle littered cheeks. I felt a small amount of heat rise to my face as I admired his face.

"You're so cute." I muttered quietly, pressing my lips into the side of his warm neck, lingering long enough to feel his pulse beating against my lips. I smiled faintly at the feeling, going to get up and see who else was up; if anyone actually was. Before I could move much more than pushing myself onto my elbow, a small, cool hand grabbed onto my wrist. I looked down at the source of the feather light touch, finding Midoriya looking up at me with half awake eyes.

"Please don't leave me."

I raised my eyebrows out of surprise. "Okay, I won't." I replied, smiling a bit as I laid back down next to him. He rolled over onto his side to face me, his eyes fluttering closed again soon after. I smiled again, finding his sleeping face to be quite adorable. I brushed a small amount of his curly, green hair out of his face. It felt a bit awkward staring at his face like I was, but he was gorgeous. His freckles spread across his cheeks and nose like stars in the night sky; the darker and more prominent ones being the constellations. His dark eyelashes long and the slight parting of his lips as he slept. He looked perfect; so, so perfect.

"Why do you hate yourself so much?" I whispered, knowing he couldn't hear me. "You're so beautiful, and kind, and smart. You're funny in the silliest ways. You're so perfect but all you can seem to see are the things that make you so imperfectly perfect." I put my forehead against his as I cuddled into him a bit more. "I love you so much. So very much." I whispered to the sleeping greenette, kissing his forehead.

Midoriya nuzzled his head into my collar bone, humming as he pulled his arms in between our chest. He looked so small against my chest. My smile quickly turned onto a frown as I felt Midoriya's ribs even from under his sweatshirt. My hand glided down a bit further, finding his hip just as boney and prominent. I wanted to cry as I realized just how truly thin he was. I had seen it and even felt it as I lifted him, but this made me upset. I closed my eyes, sighing and trying to fall back to sleep.

Before I was able to get any further than relaxing my back and shoulders, I heard the door to Midoriya's room open. I lifted my head and looked to find Mic. A small smile lifting onto his face as he walked in. "Hey. How's he doing?" The blonde asked, sitting on the very edge of the bed as he looked at the little ball of happiness in my arms. "A small nightmare, but nothing too bad. He looks tired so I'm letting him sleep." I replied, dragging my fingers through the soft, green, curly hair again. "That's good. How are you doing? I know how hard it is on your end so feel free to talk to me." Mic asked, reassuring me with his gentle, yellow eyes. There was a beat of silence as I thought about how to word what I wanted to say in response.

"I feel like I failed him some how. Maybe if I just tried a bit harder, he wouldn't have jumped off that bridge and he'd feel more motivated to stop cutting. I-I think it m-might be my fa-fault..." I trailed off into broken and shaky sobs as I hugged Midoriya closer into me. I squeezed my eyes in a futile attempt to stop the tears that had built up and started to fall. I clutched the green haired boy in my arms close to my chest; afraid if I let go, he would just disappear. 'I am terrified of that thought, I don't want to lose the precious boy in my arms.' I thought, sniffling a bit. I let go of his hair when I realized my fist was balled up tightly in it. I raked my fingers through is hair one more time before moving it to his back along side my other hand. I slid down to his chest, feeling his heart beat against my forehead. I felt a hand squeeze my shin gently as if telling me it was okay.

"H-He asked me not to leave him when he was half asleep and I agreed, but as I think about it, I realize even if I promise to stay, he might not be here the next time I come over. I'm scared to leave. I don't want Midoriya to die. I want him here with me. It's selfish, but I don't want him to meet his mom again; not so soon! I want him to stay, Even if it hurts him! It's cruel of me and I hate myself for it, but I love him so m-much! I want him to co-me to me when h-he's hurting! I w-want him here so Bad, but he-" I couldn't finish my sentence as my sobs made my lungs burn. I shook my head as I clung to the green sweater covering Midoriya's torso. "I just don't know What I Should Do!" I cried, a lot louder than what I wanted. I felt a small jolt from the body I had attached myself to. "Todo? What's wrong?" Midoriya asked, his tired voice ringing so gently in my ears. I shook my head again as I tired pushing myself further into him.

"Okay. Just come here. It's okay. I'm right here, Todo. You gotta breathe, okay?" Midoriya spoke so softly to me. His hands wrapped around me, one landing between my shoulder blades, the other smoothing out my hair. I could hear his heart beat as he stroked my hair and gently patted my back. "Oh, Mic. Hi." Midoriya suddenly said, his hands never stopping. I relaxed my eyes as the tears slowed. I could hear a small conversation start between the two of them, but was too tired to really make any of what they said out, 'Who knew crying could take so much out of some? How does Midoriya do this so often.' I thought, slowly falling to sleep to the gentle hands soothing me.

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