I Blame Me (Tododeku) [Completed]

65 ~ Don't Feel Good

Todoroki's POV

My eyes hurt and I didn't want to move. The smell of Midoriya surrounded me in the most calming way. I laid there, unmoving, for what felt like hours, relishing in the comfort of just being in his room, on his bed, his scent all around. I felt like crying but no tears would fall. I heard a light knock on my door, before hearing it click and someone walk in. "Todoroki." Aizawa said quietly, his hand resting on my shoulder. "I'm up. What do you want?" I replied, opening my eyes just enough to look at the dark haired male.

"Visitation hours start in half an hour, go get ready." Aizawa replied softly, patting my shoulder before walking out. I wanted to sob at just the thought of getting out of bed. I sighed, sitting up, keeping my hold on the wadded up blanket in my arms. I sat, glaring at the floor like I had just watched it move. I sighed, stood up and walked to the bathroom, still holding the blanket. I looked at in the mirror and found exactly what I was expecting; an utter mess. My hair was poking up every which way, I had bad dark circles, and I looked pale as a ghost. I set the blanket down on the counter, careful not to get it wet as I washed my face and did my business. I washed my hands and then my face again, before walking back to Midoriya's room.

I went to his wardrobe and pulled out the clothes that were intentionally too big for him, putting them on after removing the shirt I slept in. I ended up just barely fitting into the pants, but made it work. I made the bed before walking down the stairs, seeing as we had to be leaving in just under ten minutes. Aizawa looked up from his phone as I entered the kitchen. "Coffee is in the pot, but there's toast there too if you'd prefer that." Aizawa said, looking back down at his phone. "Thanks, where's Mic? I know he got back here super late last night." I asked, remembering that I left the note on Midoriya's desk. "Yeah, just after 3. He's still in bed, said we can go without him." Aizawa explained, standing and rinsing out his mug, which I assume he had coffee in. "Okay." I replied, putting butter on a piece of toast before pouring a small mug of coffee.

"I'm going to go say good bye to Hizashi and then we can leave whenever you're ready." Aizawa stated, walking up the stairs, shoving his phone into his pocket. I nodded, chewing a bite of my food. I wanted to cry, thinking back to yesterday and everything that happened. I quickly shock the thoughts away, finishing up the toast and coffee. I was putting my shoes on when Aizawa walked back down ready to go. "Let's go." I said, standing after tying the laces on my shoes. "Yeah."

The ride there was quiet, not helping with the pressure building in my chest. The moment Aizawa parked, I was already unbuckled and opening the car door. "Calm down. Midoriya's not going anywhere." Aizawa groaned, climbing out. "He might be! Didn't Mic tell you about his fever? The risk is high an-and and I might lose him..." I regretted yelling the moment I started think about the possibility of having Midoriya ripped away from me. I clenched my jaw and fists, trying my damnedest not to cry. I felt Aizawa grab the back of my head and bring it to his chest as he hugged me. "Listen, I'm not too good with crying people, so just, I'll be here with you. Midoriya will make it, he's strong." It almost sounded like Aizawa was trying to convince himself of that same thing as he spoke.

"Yeah." I mumbled, pushing away and leading the way inside. Aizawa started talking to the lady as I stared down the hall, knowing which room Midoriya was in. Aizawa tapped my shoulder, making me jump. "Go. I'll be there in a second." I felt something similar to excitement burst out as I listened. I started with a fast walk, knowing the rules of the hospital, but ended up failing as I wound up sprinting down the hall, grabbing the door frame with my finger tips a propelling myself into the room he was in yesterday. I sighed in relief, hearing the heart monitor still beeping and seeing his chest moving up and down.

I walked over, laying my hand on one of his. His skin felt cold and it made me even more nervous, my chest tightening. I watched Midoriya's face for any sign he was waking up and felt for any movement, telling me he would make it; that he would be okay. Aizawa came in soon after, holding some papers as well. Not much was said as we both watched the greenette intently. It must have been at least an hour before the doctor came in. Before he could even try to say anything, Aizawa held up the papers, handing them to the doctor.

"Looks like you have the proper documentation to actually be in here today, thank you. I'm Dr. Maiko, and as you know I've been looking after Midoriya since last night. He lost a lot of blood due to nicking the vein, right here." Dr. Maiko stated, pointing at his wrist, just under the hand. "Midoriya has been running quiet the fever as well." The doctor said, going around me and my chair to check his temperature. He sighed, looking at it. "38.89° Celsius (102° Fahrenheit). It went back up again." Dr. Maiko stated, writing it down on a sheet of paper. He was looking over the sheets of paper he had clipped onto his clip board, looking either focused or concerned.

"Dr. Maiko, when will Midoriya be waking up?" I asked, still holding onto his hand. "No idea, son. We still don't know for sure if he's going to make it at all. He sure has done some damage this time." He sighed, looking back to his papers. I felt my eyes well up with tears at the bluntness of what was just thrown at me. "Doctor. Thank you for your honesty, but please, the boy isn't even 16 yet." Aizawa stated, standing up, looking less than pleased. "No, it's okay." I mumbled, looking at mine and Midoriya's hands. "If I'm going to be a hero, I have to be able to accept that I can't always save everyone." I finished, my voice breaking at the end. The tears I was trying to hold back, over filled and I laid my head down on our hands, crying as I hoped and prayed my lover would be okay.

《♤》

A nurse came in every once in a while throughout the day, slowly bringing Midoriya's fever down with a cool patch and I.V. drip. But just like last night, the time came when visiting hours were coming to a close and again, I didn't want to leave Midoriya's side. "No! I told you last night, I will be here when he wakes up!" Aizawa had wrapped me in his capture gear once again and I was screaming and pulling against him. I kept my eyes on Midoriya for as long as I could, looking away for a moment to glare at a nurse that tried touching me. "Come. On." Aizawa said, his teeth grinding together as he pulled harder. I struggled more when I saw Midoriya's hand move. I gasped, putting my struggling on hold as I focused on his scarred hand. "Please sir, yo-" "Shh." I interrupted the nurse, Aizawa stopping his tugging, looking at Midoriya's unmoving hand.

Just as I was about to give up, I saw it move again. My eyes went big as golf balls and Aizawa let me go. I ran back to the bed, grabbing his hand, which had warmed up a bit since this morning. "Midoriya! Hey! Baby, open your eyes!" I cried, watching as his eyelids fluttered. I laughed out a sigh. "Todo?" Midoriya's voice was raspy and light, his eyes open just enough for him to see. "Yeah, sweetheart! It's me! How are you feeling?" I chuckled in relief, tears brimming my eyes once again. "I-I don't feel so good." Midoriya said, coughing afterwards. "I'll go get the doctor." The a nurse said, running out of the room. "I... I don't feel good." Midoriya repeated, small tears falling down the sides of his face. "I know, Mido. I know. There's a doctor on his way to try and fix that, okay?" I whispered, holding his hand with one of mine, while the other wiped the tears on his face.

"No, I don't feel good." Midoriya repeated again, seemingly getting more and more frustrated, and more and more tired. "Where does it not feel good?" Dr. Maiko asked, suddenly here. More tears seemed to fall as Midoriya lightly shook his head 'no'. I suddenly understood what he meant. 'He doesn't feel good, but he doesn't mean physically.' I thought. I started climbing into the bed, taking my shoes off. "Okay, come here." I said, Midoriya cuddling closer to my chest. "Don't feel good." The greenette mumbled again, closing his eyes, tears slipping down his cheeks. "I know." I whispered, pulling the smaller boy closer to me. We laid there for a bit, no one making a sound as they watched. "Feel better." Midoriya whispered, burying his face further into my chest. "Good." I whispered back, not letting go. "Midoriya, I need to ask you some questions." Dr. Maiko stated, holding his clipboard in one hand, a pen in the other.

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