I Blame Me (Tododeku) [Completed]

38 ~ Fear Causes Giggles

Midoriya's POV

Kacchan pulled me out of my room by my collar, making me stumble on my own feet. "Uh, K-Kacchan?" I said, trying to catch the blonde's attention. "What do you want, nerd?" Kacchan grumbled, the dragging not stopping. "Uh, why are we walking back together? And, I can walk on my own you know?" I asked, still tripping every few steps.

Kacchan 'tch'ed as he stopped and let go of my shirt. I was about to say something but before even a single syllable left my tongue, Kacchan looked at me, a small, genuine smile resting on his lips. "It's Shitty hair's idea. Let's go." Kacchan said, ruffling the hair on top of my head before turning around and start walking away. "Okay." I replied, following along, until I realized, 'I have no shoes on.'

I snickered at my own stupidity. "Hey, Kacchan! I'll be right back, I don't have shoes on." I said, running back to my dorm. I opened my door, walking in to see my green box open and Todoroki sitting on my bed looking at one of the razors. "These little things are sharp." Todoroki said, not looking at me but showing that he knew I was there. "Yeah, I know." I said, going to grab my phone, which was by the green box.

I felt Todoroki's eyes on me all the while. I acted like I didn't notice and then grabbed my charger. I walked to my door and slid on my shoes. "Makes cutting easy." I mumbled, tying the laces to my red shoes. "Stop saying things like that." Todoroki said calmly, no emotion showing on his face. "Yeah, make sure to lock up before you leave. See you tomorrow." I replied quietly, standing up and walking out. I sighed as I closed the door, looking at the floor as I walked down the hall.

'Why was Todoroki holding one of those? Was he going to cut? If he was, is it my fault? What if it is?! What did I do? Did I make him feel like that?' I started panicking at the thought of Todoroki cutting. "What would happen if Todoroki died? It'd be my fault! I would have murdered two people! I have t-" I stopped feeling a burn on my left cheek. "Deku! Look at me!" I raised my hand to my cheek as I looked at Kacchan. "O-Oh.. Hey, sorry." I apologized as unknown tears slipped down my face.

"Dude, you good?" I looked just to the right of Kacchan to see Kirishima. "Hm? I think so. That kinda hurt is all." I said, feeling a bit of pain in my chest and cheek. "Yeah, fuck you too. What's wrong?" Kacchan asked, looking me in the eye. "Nothing. Let's go." I said, feeling nothing as I started walking. Even the pain in my face and chest left.

We got to the elevator without any conversation and Kirishima pressed the down button. "Hey, just so ya know, I'll be staying with Bakubro here for the break, so I'll be closer if you need me." Kirishima said, as the elevator doors opened. "Oh! Okay! And then you two can hang out more too!" I replied, plastering a smile on my face.

"Yeah." Kirishima responded, a small, worried smile displayed on his lips. The ride in the elevator was quiet, almost stifling. "It's too damn quiet, talk or some shit." Kacchan mumbled, stuffing his hands deep into his pockets as we made our way done the hall. "You're not coming to my tea party?" Kirishima started. "BETHANY, I MADE BISCUITS!!" I yelled with Kirishima as we started laughing. Kacchan looked at us like we were literal idiots.

"What the Fuck was that?" He asked, his face very obviously being one of confusion and almost disgust. "An old meme that I remember! It's stupid but absolutely hilarious!" Kirishima responded happily as he leapt in front of us and walked backwards. I felt a slight warmth slip into every inch of my body.

The conversation went on like this until my apartment complex came into view. I couldn't help but feel a bit nervous as we got closer. The place I once found great happiness in has now become one of slight dread and sadness. I hadn't realized how quiet the conversation had become since I spaced out until Kacchan 'tch'ed.

"You two are literally the most annoyingly loud dumb-ass' in the world. The quiet is fucking with my head, say something, goddammit." Kacchan seethed, looking just as nervous as I felt. 'Why's he nervous? I mean, I'm the one going to the last place on Earth I'd want to be at... That place being my own house...' The thought made me chuckle, which then turned into a fit of laughter and shivers causing me to halt my walking.

"HAHAHA! Oh my! I am so stupid! HAHA! I'm literally terrified to go into my own house! HAHAHA! Good heavens, I can't breathe!" I said between my explosive bursts of giggles, doubling over as I gripped onto my sides, the laughing becoming harder and harder to stop. I heard a small giggle and then a chuckle and was soon met with the familiar sound of Kirishima's laugh. "Midoriya - HaHa - is so afraid, he's laughing and- pfft hehe - it's contagious!" Kirishima laughed as he grabbed onto Kacchan's arm.

"Wh- Heh- Oh my god. When you say it like that it's so much funnier." Kacchan said, slightly smiling to himself, looking amused. "Haha! Ha, hah." I chuckled, wiping the tears building at the corner of my eyes. I felt the already tight knot in my chest tightened as the giggling fit slowly died down. "Chill nerd." Kacchan started slapping my back, making me stumble forward. Kacchan started walking, Kirishima and I followed. "It's just your house. Like fuck. Shitty hair and I are down the street, just call." Kacchan said, putting his hand back into his pocket.

"Or we can walk you in and stay for a bit?" The red headed teen offered. "Nah, I'll do it by my self. It's like Kacchan said, it's just my house, right?" I asked rhetorically, making the turn into the apartment property. "See ya!" I called raising my hand and waving while I started jogging to my building. My mind went foggy and I didn't even have to think to get to my apartment, run up the stairs and walk to the door.. By the time I got to the door and had my key in hand, my heart was racing and my mind was no better.

I took in a deep breath in and out as I slid the apartment key into the lock. I closed my eyes tightly and clenched the fabric over my heart as I turned my wrist, waiting the the familiar click of the door. That click came sooner than what I was ready for. I tried calming my nerves with a few more deep breaths and then finally opened my eyes, keeping my fingers gripped around the fabric of my shirt. I pulled out the cold metal key as twisted the handle, pushing the door open.

I stood in the dark entry way, hopelessly waiting for my mom's sweet voice to welcome me home. Desperately looking for the kitchen light's gentle yellow glow. Frantically preparing for my nose to be bombarded with the smell of dinner that's almost done.

I searched for any sign of my loving mother. I wanted to see her warm smile and jump into her awaiting arms. I wanted my mother so bad, even though I knew that it was impossible, I hoped and prayed that she would be there. My knuckles had turned white from the death grip I had on my shirt and the doorknob.

I waited for a minute more, looking into the dark apartment. The only light that came in was through the sheer curtains, shining on the dust that polluted the air inside. I sighed as I released my iron grip from the door handle and my, now wrinkled, shirt. I stepped in and closed the door, slowly sliding down it. "What was I expecting? She's dead. She can't hug me or smile at me. She can't cook for me or greet me at the door. She's dead and I'm just a child." I mumbled into the darkness as I put my elbows on my knees and ran my fingers threw my hair.

1413 words