I Blame Me (Tododeku) [Completed]

67 ~ Young Midoriya

Midoriya's POV

I woke up the next day to Todoroki still being there with me, laying in the same bed, looking peaceful in his sleep. Aizawa was there too, sleeping in a chair by the hospital bed. I cringed at that, knowing how uncomfortable those chairs can be. I looked around some more, finding I was still hooked up to a few machines and an IV drip in my upper arm. I sighed, sitting up, careful not to disturb Todoroki from his sleep. I scooted back, letting my fingers card through Todoroki's hair. I smiled gently as I messed up the practically perfect part. I continued to play with his silky hair, feeling very relaxed as I listened to the sound of Aizawa's slight snoring.

"Oh! Young Midoriya...."

I turned, finding the sound coming from the buff form of All Might. I smiled, bringing my finger up to my lips and looking down at the sleeping Todoroki at my side. "Oh, I'm sorry." All Might whispered, tip toeing over to the chair on the other side. "I wasn't expecting you to be up so early. I'm sorry, I know you don't want to see me right now." All Might spoke, still keeping very quiet, his smile fading a bit. "No, no. I'm happy to see you. It's been a while. But before anything else, I want to say, I'm really sorry for what happened at Mom's funeral and the day after. I was upset and wasn't thinking straight." I apologized, feeling a bit happier now that I had. "It's alright, my boy. I was being insensitive to your situation. I'm sorry too." All Might smiled, patting my hand.

I swirled and twisted Todoroki's hair between my fingers as I listened to my mentor. "No, it's okay. It is nice to be on talking terms again though. It feels good." I smiled again, the muscles in my face feeling weird as I did. "It does. So, young Midoriya, why don't you tell me what lead up to you jumping off a bridge into fast moving water?" I winced as All Might brought my suicide attempt up, my smile dropping, along with my mood. I didn't know how to respond. I felt Todoroki's arms find their way around my waist, his face nuzzling into my side. "Morning, love." Todoroki mumbled, his voice deep with sleep. "Good Morning." I smiled, my hand still playing with his all too silky hair, still keeping my voice down in favor of keeping Aizawa asleep.

"Good morning, young Todoroki." All Might said, slightly louder than before. Todoroki's head lifted quickly, his eyes wide as he looked at All Might. "Oh. I didn't know you were here." Todoroki said, working on sitting up while keeping his arms around me. I chuckled, shaking my head. "You can let me go, I'm not going anywhere." I smiled, removing my hand as I spoke, actually feeling a little sad that I couldn't mess with his hair anymore. "So? You're warm." Todoroki replied, his arms still around me as he sat to my side. "You're a bad liar. You can regulate your temperature." I sighed, knowing he was afraid I would try committing suicide again.

"Can you blame him for being worried?" I looked over Todoroki's shoulder, finding Aizawa awake and yawning. I smiled sadly, looking down at my hands, feeling guilty. "No, not really." I replied, feeling tears sting my eyes and trying to fall. I wiped my eyes, grabbing Todoroki's hand. "Look, even if you're not holding onto me, where would I go? The moment I take these off without someone turning the machine off, doctors and nurses will already be on their way to me." I started, pointing to my chest, were I was hooked up to the heart monitor. "Plus, Aizawa could easily catch me and even if he didn't, All Might would be able to. Also, All Might is in front of the window, I can't get out without a heavy struggle, and in all honesty, I am too damn tired for that." I spoke honestly, motioning to who and what I was referring to.

"...I guess." Todoroki mumbled, his grip loosening but still not letting go. I chuckled, kissing his cheek. "Okay, boys. I'm going to ask just so I'm not being rude by assuming things, so you are dating right?" All Might asked. I felt Todoroki sit straight. "Yes, as a matter of fact we are." I almost laughed at how proud he sounded as he spoke, feeling a bit embarrassed about how open he was about it. "Oh, okay. As long as you are happy." All Might smiled, still in his buff form. I nodded, smiling softly. "Really? You say you're happy but you're actions a few days ago says otherwise." Aizawa spoke up, moving so I could see him easier.

I felt my heart jump painfully inside my chest. "Are you really happy? Or are you just hiding behind a mask?" Aizawa continued. "Neither, exactly. I'm happy Todoroki and I are dating, it's just, I don't feel like enough... for anyone. And I know everyone says I am, but I can't help but doubt. I mean, look at me... I'm not hero material." I replied, gesturing to myself and the state I was in. "Yeah, I'm happy, but no, I don't see myself as needed or exactly... wanted." I said, looking down at my hands again, mumbling the last words, knowing they wouldn't like hearing them.

The room was so quiet, it felt almost suffocating. I picked at the skin next to my thumb nails, nervous I was going to be yelled at. "I know this isn't the best time, but, I wanted you to know, I have you're notes." Todoroki piped up. At first, I thought he was going to make it better, but he did the exact opposite. "You Didn't Read Them, Did You?!" I yelled, flipping around to look at him. The beeping that was originally steady had climbed quickly and was erratic. "No. Mic said no one has read them." Todoroki responded, making me relax a bit. "We need to burn them." I said, feeling the tension in my back fall a bit. "After we read them." Aizawa stated, sitting at the foot of the hospital bed. "No, no, no. We are not doing that." I smiled. "I am going to burn them." I repeated, the heart monitor giving away how actually horrified I was.

I heard a small, and very dark, chuckle from Todoroki. "What's written on those pieces of paper?" He asked, his eyes covered by his bangs. "Words that don't need to be read." I responded, a little worried. "Please, Todo. I... I really don't want them read this time." I mumbled, holding onto the front of his shirt. "Fine. We'll use my quirk to burn them. But before all that, we need to make a run to the dorms and take care of a few things." Todoroki said, his face still hidden. "Alright. Thank you, Todo. Hey, look at me." I replied, grabbing his cheeks and lifting his face. His eyes were blood shot and I could tell he was trying not to cry. "Hey, s-sugar cube. It's okay. I'm here." I stuttered over the pet name, not used to using them myself. I hugged him, my cheeks feeling a bit warm.

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