He Lost And He Found (Depressed Bakugou)

Chapter 2

Recap

[...]
"Are you in love Bakubabe?" Mina squealed excited.
[...]
"I REALLY WONDER HOW THE FUCK YOU GOT INTO THE SCHOOL WITH YOUR STUPID ASS!!"
[...]
"Bakugou apologies to Denki immediately!"
[...]
You really  are a monster Katsuki~
[...]
"Bakugou please stay after class"
[...]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️
● self harm
● suicide thoughts
● Depressing thoughts/ voices in the      head

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The class ended, the whole time during class his classmates would glare at him. He did his best to look like aleways, like he doesn't care. With the time it got harder and harder, his anxiety got worse. He knows he deserves to be punished for hurting Pikachu like that, however it didn't change that he was scared.

Yes the Bakugou Katsuki was scared. He just knew how to cover it up. He was taught to never show his vulnerable site to anyone, he doesn't want to look week. He was brave.

His classmates left slowly every single one of them glaring at him before leaving for lunch. Momo, Mina and the rest of the squad glanced worried at him. He hated the pity in there eyes it let him feel weak and he doesn't need it anyway, why would they need to pity him, they should be the one glaring the most at him he fucking HURT dunce face and now he and his friends are pitying HIM.

They make fun of you for getting in trouble.

"No they would never do something like that they are not fake. They like me; they see me as a friend right?"

"What were you saying Bakugou?"

"Nothing, what do you want Aizawa-sensei?"

"I think you know why you're here. I want to talk about your behaviour"

"Well if you want that I apologize for earlier it's not happening. I did nothing wrong; I just said the truth"

"I don't want you to apologize to Denki. I want to know why you said it"

Bakugou looked confused at his teacher not believing him. Why doesn't he want him to apologize. It got him out of the concept he expected that his teacher would lecture him for what he did, then give him detention and force him to apologize. He had possible answers and replies prepared for the scolding. He just sat there looking confused at his teacher he was unprepared. How is he supposed to let his facade up if he is surprised and unable to improvise.

"I figured to give you a lecture or force you to apologize would do nothing, so I want to know the reason for your actions"

Does he can read my mind or what?

"And no I can not read your mind"

Please what? You want to tell me you can not read my mind while you answer to my thoughts?

"And now Bakugou please stop looking shocked and answer my question, I don't have all day"

"He pissed me off, I warned him but he didn't stop. So I told him what I thought"

"What made you so annoyed?"

"He didn't stop asking stupid questions"

"Thats not the reason why you were so annoyed"

Bakugou was yet again confused ofcourse it was the reason. What does his teacher want to hear something more serious, is it to small for him for reason to hurt someone verbally so bad?

"Denki does it most of the time and you never acted like that. It would take something more serious for you to say something that hurtful to a Bakusquad-member. I know you care about them. I may be sleep deprived and not the best teacher but I'm not blind. I'm just as observant as you.
So tell me why were you so angry"

How does Aizawa made him speechless three times in a row. Bakugou had, till now, never so much respect for a teacher.

"I don't know what you are talking about"

"Ok when you want it this way. 1 week detention after school starting today"

Aizawa knew he couldn't force Bakugou to tell him what in his mind is going on, nonetheless he knew for a fact that something was going on. And he is scared of this just today he saw how good Bakugou can fake this personality of his. The homeroom teacher still wonderd who Bakugou was talking to. If it is what he thinks, it's more serious than he thought.

Meanwhile Bakugou was internaly panicking, his mother would be disappointed in him. How would she react.

You really can't do anything right. You're a disappointment, why can't you make your mother proud katsuki~? She just wants the best for you. She gives you food, a house, money, she cares for you and you toss it all in the trash. You get in trouble, you waste her time, money, food, everything. You are an ungrateful brat.
And ofcourse not that you only make your parents life miserable with your existence, you make the life of the people who put up with you everyday a hell. Aren't you ashamed of yourself?

"Bakugou? Can you hear me?"

"Bakugou!? Bakugou Katsuki?!"

The voices got louder and louder. Katsuki just wanted to rip his ears off the head so he couldn't hear anything anymore. He screamed and pleaded the voice to stop, to shut up. He punched the desk in front of him hoping everything would stop. He just  wanted the pain to go away. How? that does not matter for him everything was alright even death....

Why was he still alive? If he only burden everyone around him. Everyone would be better without him. If he would have never existed Deku wouldn't have a bad childhood. His parents wouldn't have waste money and time on him. All Might would still have his power and the world wouldn't have another fucking VILLAIN.

An ear-piercing noise broke him out of his thoughts. He punched the window. He looked around, the broken glass laied in front of him. One big piece catched his attention. He didn't know what he was thinking, he wasn't thinking at all. The voice was screaming at him to take the broken glas. He did as told the voice sad it would help and he was desperate for help.

He took it, it shined magically in the sunlight he put the sharpest side at his wrist and in one short motion the glass crossed his skin. Surprisingly it didn't hurt, instead it felt stress releasing. He liked the feeling of freedom, he forgot about the pain and the voice got quiter with each cut.

He had made about ten when his hands were grabbed by another pair of hands. Katsuki tried to continue but the person who hold him was stronger.