He Lost And He Found (Depressed Bakugou)

Chapter 8

Recap

[...]

No one ever believed him.

[...]

He was always cleaning, it doesn't matter if it were the dishes or his room, or even the whole house.

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To Aizawa it gave the impression that Bakugou may have OCD.

[...]

if Aizawa recalls right it would match the behaviour of the teen.

[...]

"Hey kid, it's clean; you can stop washing it now"

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He was used to be yelled at, for being so slow.

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His mother liked to let him believe he would get away with nothing.

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The longer he had to wait for the yelling the bigger his mistake was.

[...]

Well, the biggest mistake would be him, so everything bad that happens to him is well deserved. That ,however, changes nothing about the pain and sadness in his broken heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Thank you for cooking and cleaning the dishes. Even though I should have done this"

Katsuki looked up. No one had ever thanked him. It was now that he realised he was on school grounds with his teacher.

"No need I made shit dirty so I have to clean it. That's how it's work"

Bakugou straightened his posture and walked out of the kitchen back to the infirmary. Aizawa was left confused and thoughtful about the words of Bakugou. He then left and followed his student to the infirmary. As Aizawa arrived the blonde was searching for something.

"What are you looking for?"

"What do you think? A toothbrush and toothpaste ofcourse! I'm not going to bed without brushing my teeth, that's just disgusting."

Bakugou shuddered at the thought. He already had to sleep in his uniform. It isn't even his own. It's some spare dress shirt, because his was all bloody and shit, wich reminds him, he layed on the dirty ground in some shitty alleyway, where who-knows-what was littering the floor. Oh don't forget all the smoke and germs from shitty copycat and patchwork on this uniform. And on top again he has to sleep in this. Hell no! There's no fucking way he is going to go to bed without atleast brushing his teeth.
Who would do this in their right mind? He wouldn't sleep in that dirty state of his.

Aizawa watched interested at the boy in front of him. He could see the face scrunching up and showing more and more pure disgust and disbelief. The teacher guessed it had to be about his OCD and strong dislike, well more than just strong dislike, towards germs.

"We have in the Teachers-lounge a spare toothbrush and spare clothes too. If you want I could give it to you"

"And the things aren't used before?"

"No Bakugou, they are clean"

Bakugou didn't really want to accept the help of the teacher, however it would be better than nothing. He mumbled an acceptance that Aizawa surprisingly heard. The two were now walking in complete silent the corridors down to the lounge. The voice noticing the silent thinks it would be a great time to get the attention of Katsuki.

Now do you feel good for wasting the precious time of your teacher, who could be at home with his lovely family?

'Shut up'

Don't be so rude to me! I just asked a question you little shit. And you know I am not burdening anyone, like you. I am just here to remind you of the truth.

First you are being weak and let your teacher see it. That is really pathetic. Second you are being even weaker and are incapable of going home, like how weak do you have to be for that. I wonder how you got in UA when you are so weak. Third you needed help from copycat pffft hahahaha. That is so hilarious. Being saved by this 1B kid. See you are the weakest. Oooh but I do wonder why he saved you. Everyone would be better without you. Why didn't he just let you die there? Even the Villains don't want something like you anymore. Because they know you just hurt everyone around you. The people, who are willing to be near you and you hurt them for no reason. Dabi could have end you there and then, but he decided that he will let you suffer. Because you deserve to suffer for everything that you have done. 

'Shut up! I don't want to hear anything from you'

Oh Katsuki~ I can't do this favour for you. I will always and forever be here. The only way to shut me up is the death of  yours.

Bakugou stopped abruptly. Only 5 meters was between him and his teacher and the door that would reveal the Teachers-lounge when you open it. Bakugou was used to the voice telling him in this sick sweet voice what big of a failure he was. He too knew that telling them to shut up would be a waste of time, still he tried. However, the last sentence was knew. The Voice told him multiple times to end his life and do everyone the unspoken favour. Katsuki on the one hand, wanted to give in to the voice. On the other hand he wasn't going to end his life without making up to Deku. His stubborn self wouldn't allow it. No the voice telling him to die was really nothing new, it even talked about different ways, however, it never told Katsuki that the voice would stop with the beating of his heart. He once again was the cause for his miserable life. He was at fault for everything. For being so weak, such a failure, a disgrace for his family, All Might loosing his power, his classmates getting hurt by the LOV and by himself physically and emotionally. He was also at fault for burdening everyone with his existing. Would everyone be happier when he is dead? The voice told him they would be happy, they wouldn't care for him. And the voice was always right. So why was he standing here wasting the time of Aizawa and about to make his teachers life even more complicated by wishing for useless utensils? They already wasted energy and important medical staff for him.

"I shouldn't be here...

"They're right after all...

"I should end it all right now..."

Bakugou spoke just barely over a whisper. He came after 15 years of his life to the conclusion. He didn't deserved this life. He now had to write the apologies for Deku, his parents, his idiots and the others.  He knew it wouldn't be enough to make up for him coming in their lifes, nonetheless he wanted to get it off his chest. Then he would end it once and for all. No one would have to put up with him and he couldn't hurt anyone anymore.

And he smiled happy as sorrowful tears were streaming down his face.