He Lost And He Found (Depressed Bakugou)

Chapter 62

Recap

[...]The class grew closer again over the last few weeks.

[...] All this shouldn't be their prize to pay to becoming pro heros or adults.

[...]What has become of humanity he wonders as he saw the cross stitch of black yarn over the mouth. Keeping it shut.

[...]This evening Aizawa was found at a bar drinking his problems away.

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!Alcohol abuse!

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Downing one after another Shota didn't noticed the person approaching.

"Shota why did you start again? What happened?"

Aizawa looked into the eyes of his husband. They were all glossy and sad and shit Aizawa just wanted another shot. That's what he did. Ordering one after another again. He was about to down another one when a hand stopped him. He glared at it. Why wasn't he allowed to drink? Everyone did it. There was nothing wrong with it.

"What happened?" His husband insisted. Huh? Why did it mattered so much?

"Who cares let me drink in peace." He tried and failed to drink yet another shot.

"Because its the reason you look like shit right now." 

He never was this serious. It must be something really serious. Aizawa wasn't in the mood for serious discussions. He just wanted to enjoy his drinks. Was it to much to ask for?

"Believe me it's not and now piss off." Aizawa forced another shot down his throat.

"Is it about Bakugou?" Hizashi motioned for the bartender to stop serving drinks. 

Oh Bakugou? Aizawa failed him terrible. He was not only kidnapped once but twice by now and he has lost count on how often that kid, that teenager almost died. He was still so young so fucking young. Just like Toshi. He too didn't deserve any of that shit he was forced through. 

A picture of Hitoshi and the stitches and the straw in between. And then the luminol reaction of all that blood in Bakugou's room. Blood that was years old. Blood that wasn't from the kidnapping.

He downed another drink unbeknown to Hizashi and the bartender how he got it in his posession. 

How could he look Bakugou in the eye after having him let down. He should have protected him. He should have noticed. He should have been there and done something. He should have- He should have! For fucks sake why does he keep fail protecting Bakugou. Why does this all have to happen and why in this god forsaken world does Bakugou has to keep suffering, just like his son.

Hitoshi didn't deserve all that. 

Wasn't it enough to put him through living hell in his first 6 years on earth? Wasn't he already hurt enough after not only fail to come into the hero course once but twice? Why does life keep hurting his son? He doesn't deserve all this! He doesn't deserve to go through the trauma of loosing a loved one. Not at such a young age. Not when he just started to experience deep friendship. Fuck why wasn't there another drink? Why wasn't the alcohol helping? Why was Bakugou close to his son? Why did it had to be Bakugou of all people? Where was all the hatred and dislike towards the explosive blonde that he showed at the beginnning of the year? Why did Bakugou allow Shinso to become close to him if he knew he wasn't going to make it. If he knew his mental health was shit? He knew he would hurt Hitoshi sooner than later. Why couldn't Hitoshi have a peaceful life? A happy one? Without having to go through trauma left and right?

Aizawa became a mess after not having a liquid to gulp it down and forget about it. The tears were streaming and the sobs louder than he would ever want it.