He Lost And He Found (Depressed Bakugou)

Chapter 37

Recap

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Why did everything had to change? Why did everyone had to forget all the good times they had with Bakugou, with the class as a team.

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"I thought friends are supposed to wait for another."

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Remembering the Sportsfestival Shinso didn't seem to be that good in hand to hand combat. Denki would probably have an easy game.

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He looked up at his sparring partner, who was glaring at Bakugou.

[...]

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"I can see why principle Nezu allowed you to transfer to the hero course young Shinso." All Might complimented Shinso's skills.

"Thank you All Might" Shinso replied before following the other boys to the changing rooms. 

Bakugou was leaning against a wall around the corner, hearing the small conversation. He knew that if All Might ever found out that he helped Shinso, he wouldn't give the purple hair these kind of compliments anymore. Shinso would also get on the bad side of the teacher. He had to be cautious, Shinso just got a step closer to his dream. Bakugou would make sure that he wouldn't be the reason for the failure. After some minutes he made his way to the dorms, getting ready for the afternoon. Denki wanted to go with him and Shinso to the arcades. 

However, did he not expected to see the whole Bakusquad with Denki and Shinso waiting for him to come. Their body posture was stiff and it was unusual quiet for his squad. The tension was thick and made Bakugou think why they agreed to come. Denki saw him first and smiled brightly. Bakugou could feel that this day would be a disaster. It didn't matter how many times Pikachu tries to get the squad back together. 

"Let's go to the Arcades and have some fun together," Denki happily exclaimed, while raising his fist to underline his statement. 

They all follow quietly. Mina and Jiro wispering to each other. Eventually the awkward walk ends and they arrive at the Arcades. 

"Where are we going first?" Denki asked looking at everyone. As no one awnswerd he continued talking and dragging them to the different games, ignoring the awkwardness completely.

They were now at the third game or was it the fourth game maybe it was the fifth game, it didn't mattered. Bakugou wasn't partcipating in any of them. The only thing he knew was that an hour had passed. Bakugou stayed in the background, let the others have their fun. They had. After the first game the group started to overcome the wall that was set because of him. Thanks to Kaminari Shinso started to socialize as well. He was kind of glad. It felt almost like the Bakusquad was back together with a new member. Only that it wasn't hard for him to feel invisible. He felt as if no one would notice if he wasn't there. He could literally go and no one would care. That's exactly what he will do. He will walk a little around to get time to think. 

He didn't really had thought about what would change when Shinso transfers to his class. Would they still train together? He was in the hero course so there wouldn't be any reason. Bakugou did what he was supposed to do: Train Shinso and get him in the hero course. They never talked about what would happen after they achieved this step. Shinso didn't need the extra training anymore. Shinso didn't need Bakugou anymore. No one needed Bakugou anymore. He is back to being a waste of space. The only thing he is good at is making things complicated. Denki doesn't seem to have any problems with his friends anymore and Shinso has his own friends now. There is really no use for Bakugou anymore. He knew if he would go back to the idiots he would destroy the atmosphere, so he made his way back to the dorms. 

It would at least take him a whole week until he could train normally again. He knows this feeling and he is honestly scared. It wasn't that bad the past weeks, so why was it so prominent all of a sudden. He hated it. He hated that he can't do anything against it. He knows that the feeling will get to him and make him wish to die, even though he doesn't want to. He just doesn't want to live. He wishes he never existed in the first place. It just leads back to the question why does he exists in the first place. 

He looks around not knowing where he went. After a while he didn't cared for anything and went where his feet took him. As he came to a stop he looked around. He stands on a bridge between trees and nature. It's awfull familiar. A small river under him catches his attention making him remember the cold and suffocating feeling once more. He should be scared of it, he should want to leave this place as soon as  he can and yet he stays. He sits on the edge just like he had before he pushed himself off, only that he now doesn't feel the need to do it. Not yet.

He isn't sure if Hitoshi would feel sad if he would do it now, however, he thinks that it wouldn't be nice of him to leave the world right after his purple haired friend got into his class. He likes to think that someone would care. He thinks back to all the times he trained Shinso. The time were he actually laughed for the first time because he enjoyed training. Because Hitoshi made him realize that training isn't all for success and work. That it can also be fun. He remembers the times were they both laughed together, when they both smiled like idiots after they were alone because Shinso made it. Bakugou couldn't help but smile at the memory of seeing Shinso happy. Everytime he saw the boys smile he had the urge to smile too. He wanted to be the reason that Shinso laughed and smiled. He wants to really train Shinso like he normally does it let them figure it out while fighting, he wants one real training with Hitoshi before he says good bye.

He wants these two things more than everything else. 

The sun is slowly setting and Bakugou makes his way back to the dorms for real this time. The others are probably starting to go back now too. He would arrive before curfew just like the others. He wouldn't have to answer any shitty questions from his teacher. He could just go to his dorm and be alone to not bother anyone. 

Just like Bakugou thought right after he left the common room, he heard the Bakusquad coming. He walked faster to not be seen by anyone. Successfully reaches Bakugou his dormroom. 

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Sorry for not posting earlier I wanted to write a bit ahead so that it is more planned out, since I usually just write what comes to my mind. So I will update a bit more often the next few days :)