Grian Oneshots

Incorrect Quotes 8

Mumbo: I really like Eninem.
Grian: I prefer skittles.
Iskall: He's talking about the rapper.
Grian: Why would he eat the wrapper?

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Grian: I hate how you're just born out of nowhere, and you're forced to go to school and get education so you can get a job. What if I wanted to be a duck? No one ever asked me if I want to be a duck!

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Iskall: if you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to?
Scar: Schrödinger's boys.
Mumbo: FUCK!
Xisuma: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do.
Grian: All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.
Iskall: ...
Scar: ...
Mumbo: ...
Xisuma: ...
Grian: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.

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Mumbo: Time for plan G.
Iskall: Don't you mean plan B?
Mumbo: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.
Scar: What about plan D?
Mumbo: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.
Xisuma: What about plan E?
Mumbo: I'm hoping not to use it. Grian dies in plan E.
Grian: I like plan E.

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Grian: So oxygen went on a date with potassium, it went... OK.
Iskall: I thought oxygen was dating magnesium, OMG.
Grian: Actually oxygen first asked nitrogen out, but nitrogen was all like NO.
Mumbo: I thought oxygen had that double bond with the hydrogen twins.
Scar: Looks like someone's a HO.
Iskall: NaBrO.
Xisuma: I'm done with all of you!

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Xisuma: Okay! Let's play Kiss Marry Kill!
Xisuma: First who would you kill?
*Mumbo points at Grian*
*Scar points at Grian*
*Iskall points at Grian*
Grian: *shrugs* I would kill me too.

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Scar: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.
Iskall: This knife is actually a magic wand.
Mumbo: Meet me in the Denny's parking lot for a wizard duel.
Grian: *cocks gun* Magic missile.
Xisuma: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

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The squad: *walking at the mall*
Xisuma: Hey, have any of you guys seen Grian? He's been gone for a while...
Mumbo: Eh, nope.
Iskall: No, I haven't.
Scar: Probably ran off to a McDonald's or something.
Grian: Hey.
Xisuma: Ooh, there you are-
Mumbo: What the fu-
Scar: I- where were you!?
Grian: Walking right behind you guys.