fatal love

Chapter 4

The rest of the term flew by. Remus got sick again at the start of December, and once again Pomfrey wouldn't let them see him. By this point, Sirius was sure Remus was hiding something from them. No one got that sick, that often. But Remus refused to talk about it, and it was one of the few things he actually got mad about, when Sirius tried to question him. And when Sirius raised his concerns with James and Peter, they agreed that it was odd, but didn't seem as worried as Sirius was. And he was worried, but he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. So he resolved to keep a closer eye on Remus from now on, and see if he could figure anything out. If he knew what was wrong, he could probably fix it. He was a Black, after all, and there was no problem the Blacks couldn't make disappear. That's what Mother said.

That was the other thing worrying him - Mother. She'd written him that month to inform him he was expected home for Christmas, to discuss his Sorting. The letter had been short, to the point, and signed Walburga Black, The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, instead of Mother. He didn't think he'd ever angered her quite this badly before, not even when he gave Bellatrix a beard when he was nine that no Vanishing Charm could get rid of.

He was sure his punishment was going to be painful. He'd known that when he told the Hat to put him in Gryffindor, and it's not like he regretted his choice - not now he had James, and Remus, and Peter. But it was definitely getting more scary as the holidays grew closer, and the nerves became harder and harder to ignore.

And it wasn't like he was going to talk to any of his friends about it. For one, he was the Black heir, and he wasn't going to show any weakness, not even to the Marauders. We don't talk about family matters outside the family, Sirius knew that. And it wasn't like they'd understand anyway. It seemed like the other Marauders' parents worshipped the ground their sons walked on. They all got weekly letters from home, often with gifts or food. It all seemed very odd to Sirius, how their parents seemed to give their sons no expectations or duties or anything. But then, they all seemed to think he was the weird one when he talked about his family, and he only ever mentioned stuff that he thought was normal.

As the end of term neared, his fears got the best of him. Pretending he'd be fine was futile, and he needed to prepare somehow.

The night before they left, Sirius didn't go to sleep. He waited until the other boys were all snoring, before climbing gingerly out of bed and swiping James' Cloak. He crept to the Hospital Wing, muttering " Alohomora, " and letting the door swing open. The room was empty apart from one student, asleep in one of the beds.

Careful not to make any noise, he made his way quickly to the cupboards and grabbed a vial of Essence of Dittany , stuffing it in his pocket, before hurrying back to the dormitory. Hopefully Pomfrey didn't keep a stock of all her potions, but even if she did, he figured, there would be no way to know it was him who took it. He thought getting some dittany would make him feel better about going home, but actually, it had only made his fears seem that much more real. Walking through the dark, empty corridors, he wondered if he was overreacting - but no, he knew he wasn't. Maybe he should have been in Slytherin after all. Being in Gryffindor was causing him a lot of trouble, and right now, he wasn't feeling very brave.

He finally reached the Fat Lady, whispering the password, desperate to just go straight to bed and forget about what was in his pocket until he had to use it. When he reached the Common Room, though, James was sitting in one of the chairs.

"Sirius?" James asked as the portrait slammed behind him, and Sirius removed the Cloak reluctantly.

"Hey James."

"Where were you? I heard someone leave the room, and when I got up your bed was empty and my cloak was gone!"

Sirius wondered what a good excuse would be. "I couldn't sleep," he settled on. "Thought maybe a walk would clear my head. Sorry I didn't ask to take your Cloak, I didn't want to wake you."