fatal love

chapter 133

January crept by slowly, with biting cold wind, seemingly constant rain, and story after story in the Prophet about Death Eater attacks, Auror raids and skirmishes among every dark creature imaginable. The frequency with which bad news arrived was now too much to even keep track of -  Sirius could barely remember the days when hearing about Death Eater attacks kept everyone mourning and scared for days and weeks after the event.

1978, it appeared, was when the war truly became not only constant, not only unescapable, but normalised. There wasn't much to do but troop from class to class and carry on stoically, but everything was starting to feel heavier, especially for the Seventh Years, as the world waiting for them outside Hogwarts became more and more war-torn every day.

No one mentioned what had happened at the Hog's Head. Sirius was sure Lily and James talked about it, based on how they would look when he caught them whispering to each other in the Common Room or the Great Hall, but he never joined in. He didn't even want to think about it at all, let alone talk about it. So he carried the knowledge that Voldemort was out there, now carrying a grudge against him, personally, along with the rest of them, but pushed it deep, deep down and buried it.

Remus didn't talk about it either. This was something they agreed on, it seemed.

Halfway through the month, the seven Gryffindors were walking back to the Common Room after Charms and talking about NEWTs, when Sirius noticed James was acting odd, not leading the conversation as he normally did. In fact, he was hardly participating at all. He kept fiddling with his fingers, and shooting Evans glances that Sirius couldn't read.

"All I'm saying," Mary laughed, "is that revision is bloody pointless if we won't even be able to get a job after we leave. It wreaks havoc on my motivation."

Lily tutted fondly. "You should revise for yourself, not so you can get a job."

"Speak for yourself," Mary replied, "I'm confident enough in my own abilities without needing a little bit of paper telling me I'm good."

They approached the Fat Lady, and when Remus gave her the password the portrait swung open, revealing the half-full Common Room, warm from the fire and low buzz of chatter.

"Hey, uh, why don't we go up to the boys' dorm?" James said with faux-casualness, as the seven of them climbed through the portrait one by one.

"What, all of us?" Marlene asked. "Why?"

"Because..." James took a deep breath. "Evans and I need to talk to you in private."

Sirius stiffened, and looked to Lily immediately. She met his eyes and nodded grimly, and Sirius knew what the conversation was going to be.

"Alright," Mary shrugged, "let's go then."

Sirius walked up to the dorm with the rest of them, holding himself tall and proud and not letting himself look at Marlene. Back straight, chin high, because if you show no weakness, then you may as well not be weak at all.

"Okay," James said when the door shut behind them, sitting on his bed and running a hand through his hair. "I, uh, I don't really know how to say this."

"Spit it out, Potter," Marlene smirked, "what is it?"

James opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again, but no sound came out, and he turned to look at Lily helplessly.

She walked over reassuringly and sat next to James, laying her hand over his and started speaking for him. "Obviously, the war is... bad at the moment," she said carefully.

Mary and Marlene sat up straighter at once, eyes alert.

"And James and I have been talking to Dumbledore about it at our meetings," Lily continued. "It's an open secret by now that he's fighting his own battles when it comes to Voldemort, but he needs help. And James and I have agreed to join him after we graduate, and we need to know if you would consider doing the same."