fatal love

chapter 93

An hour later, Remus walked back into the dorm, his mouth set in a straight line. "Lily knows," he announced soberly.

"Knows what?" asked Peter.

"She knows I'm a werewolf. She... Well, she figured it out a year ago, apparently. But she was waiting for me to come to her."

"Fuck, really?" James gasped. "What did you say?"

"Tried to deny it for a while, but it was no use. She knows."

James tilted his head in confusion. "Did she say something, mate? If she's known for a year, then she obviously isn't going to tell anyone. Shouldn't this be a good thing?"

"I mean..." Remus sighed. "It's... she says she doesn't care, and I guess she really doesn't, if she's known for this long. But I liked having a friend who didn't think of me as a werewolf, you know? I could be normal, when I was with her."

Sirius frowned. "You're normal when you're with us."

"Right," Remus said patronisingly. "Either way, I wish she didn't know. I should never have made friends with the smartest people in the year, Christ."

The next few days were particularly rough. Everyone was talking about the werewolf attacks, and no one was approaching the situation with any humanity. Remus had taken to pouring over the Prophet every spare second he had, waiting for the Ministry's response. None of them knew what Minchum would do, or what it would mean for Remus.

Remus had also started avoiding Lily. He was perfectly civil with her, but only spent time with her as part of a group, and only talked about prefect duties. Sirius didn't mention it, and a selfish part of him was quite happy, because it meant Remus was spending all of his time with the Marauders instead, but he wished he wasn't doing it for such a stupid reason. And he did feel slightly guilty whenever he noticed Lily looking at Remus sadly from across the room. Maybe he shouldn't have told Remus that Lily knew. But he knew Remus would have wanted to know, and the idea of keeping something like that from him didn't feel quite right either.

A week after the full moon, Sirius finally made time to see Benjy again. He had been standing outside Ravenclaw Tower for ten minutes, and was about to give up and go back to Gryffindor when Caradoc, one of Benjy's dorm mates, came through the door.

"Black?" he asked. "What're you doing here?"

"Was supposed to be seeing Benjy," Sirius said. "He's late though."

"Yeah, he had some Head Boy stuff to do I think. Don't worry, you can come in, why didn't you just wait up in the dorm?"

Sirius pulled a face. "I can never figure out the bloody riddle."

Caradoc chuckled. "Don't feel bad. Half the time, it's Ravenclaws letting in other Ravenclaws. Come on, I'll keep you company until Fenwick shows up."

"You don't have to do that," Sirius said, stepping through the doorway. Caradoc waved him off, leading him up to the dorm. It was empty when they got there, and Sirius flopped down on Benjy's bed, while Caradoc perched awkwardly on the end of his.

"So..." Caradoc said, not really looking at him. "Good week?"

"Alright," Sirius hummed. Honestly, if Caradoc had such a problem with him, then he didn't have to stay. Sirius had said he could leave.

"So, you and Benjy... are you two, like, dating, or...?"

"Isn't Fenwick supposed to be your mate?" Sirius asked icily. "Why don't you ask him?"

Caradoc's eyes widened, and he nodded, looking down quickly. Sirius decided to ignore him, digging through Benjy's draw on his bedside table, finding the spare packet of fags he always kept there and helping himself. Caradoc was watching him out of the corner of his eye as Sirius spread out on the bed comfortably, exhaling a cloud of smoke.