fatal love

chapter 171

4TH AUGUST 1980

"Meet Harry James Potter," Lily said softly, cradling the tiny baby in her arms.

Sirius smiled hollowly. He wished he could celebrate properly, be as overjoyed as Lily and James obviously were, even if they were doing their best to hide it, but his mind was elsewhere. He was too terrified to manage anything more than a smile and a nod as Lily and James talked, because Remus was gone, and Sirius didn't know where he was, or if he was safe, and there was nothing he could do about it.

James and Lily had come to Chicory Cottage, because Sirius still refused to leave, Pete at their side. Pete had been there when Harry was born, right there in the room next door, got to be the first one to meet him. Merlin, Sirius was jealous; he'd been so excited, but now the time was here and it just felt so unfair that James and Lily's family was growing, while he was missing Remus.

"He's sweet," Sirius said, peering over. "Already looks just like James."

Harry already had a full head of jet black hair, with light brown skin and bright green eyes, and he seemed to have inherited his father's positive nature, and was lying happily in his mother's arms, looking around with curiosity.

"Nah," James grinned, "all babies look the same. I reckon he's going to look like his mum though, he's got her eyes."

"Do you want to hold him, Sirius?" Lily asked.

Sirius paused, taken aback. Harry looked so small and delicate, surely no one would trust Sirius with something that precious?

"...Really?" he said.

"Yeah... there you go, that's it, support the head... very good. Look, he likes you!"

Sirius looked down as he held that tiny life, feeling a slight bit of terror at just that much responsibility. Baby Harry was looking back up at him calmly, blinking those green eyes and gurgling.

"Hi there," Sirius whispered. "Do you know who I am, Haz? I'm your Uncle Sirius."

"Actually," James interrupted, "we were thinking godfather."

Sirius looked up in shock, staring at James disbelievingly. "Me?" he asked. "But I- I can't..."

"We thought about it really hard," Lily said, "and there's no one we'd rather look after Harry if something happened to us. We'd want him with family, and that's you."

"But I... I couldn't do that!" Sirius argued. "Think about how I grew up, I don't know how to raise a kid."

James chuckled, shaking his head. "We did think about that. You know how important love is, mate, and we know you'd love him. That's all that matters."

"I do," Sirius promised, looking back down at the baby in his arms. "I love you, Harry. Look at you, you perfect little thing."

Harry giggled, and Sirius' heart clenched. He looked so innocent and happy, reaching out blindly and grabbing at the air with fat little hands, and Sirius didn't think he'd ever felt this protective in his life.

"You're going to grow up with so much love," he murmured. "Your mama loves you so much, your dada loves you so much. So do I, and Uncle Wormy, and Uncle Moony... He- he can't be here right now, but he really wants to meet you too, I know he does."

"Sirius..." Lily said cautiously, but Sirius shook his head, blinking back the tears.

"Now, you might find him boring at first," he said, continuing to speak to Harry, "but that's only because someone round here has to be responsible. He's actually very fun. And he'll read with you, and teach you about all sorts of wicked things, and never get bored or tired of your questions, he's great like that. And he'll show you what kindness looks like. You'll love him too Haz, just wait and see."