fatal love

Chapter 61

Sirius leant against a pillar, making sure he looked bored and unbothered, as Walburga delivered her final lecture about her expectations for this year. They were back at Platform 9 ¾, with Regulus, and he wasn't even pretending to be listening, picking at a hangnail instead. He wasn't running off either though, like he had last year. He couldn't be bothered, and he wasn't in the mood for James' relentless cheeriness after his summer.

Eventually, Walburga gave them both a detached nod to say goodbye and disapparated. He glanced at Regulus for a second, but neither of them spoke, and Regulus turned away quickly, presumably to go and find Crouch or one of his other slimy little mates. Sirius wasn't sure if he was relieved or annoyed.

Normally, this is when Sirius would look for the Potters, or go to the Marauders' compartment, but he didn't want to do that right now. The Black stench was still all over him, pretending to be a Marauder right now would just feel wrong. Instead, he boarded the train alone, finding an empty carriage near the front.

There were a couple of times that younger students came in, but he only had to fix them with a glare and they would scarper away. He stared out of the window listlessly as the Express started to pull away from the station, and his surroundings moved by faster and faster.

The others would be wondering where he was, but he hoped they didn't come looking for him. Not yet, not while he was still figuring out how he felt, how he wanted to act. It was stupid, really. Nothing had happened this summer that hadn't happened before, he should be able to deal with it easily. But it was starting to really get to him. Maybe just because it had been going on so long, maybe because this year it seemed like Walburga had even less faith in him than before, but whatever the reason, he just felt exhausted. He felt exhausted, and depressed, and he just wanted to wallow in self-pity. He didn't want to laugh with James, and talking about it would be even worse.

"Sirius?"

Sirius looked away from the window, and saw Remus, standing at the door of the carriage, head tilted in curiosity.

"Why aren't you with the others?" Remus asked.

"Why aren't you?" Sirius evaded.

Remus pointed to his chest, and Sirius noticed a Prefect badge pinned to his robes, gleaming. "I had a meeting," Remus smirked. "We just finished, I saw you in here by yourself."

" You're a Prefect? I mean, no offence Moony, but you aren't exactly known for following the rules."

Remus grinned, flopping down casually opposite Sirius. "I know, I thought it was James pulling a prank on me when I first got the letter. But I guess they had to choose one boy from Gryffidor, and let's be honest, the bar is pretty low in our dorm. They didn't have many options. You and James break more rules than anyone, and Pete sleeps through half his classes. So I got stuck with the job. Lucky me."

Sirius chuckled, and Remus laughed as well. Merlin, he'd missed that sound. And Remus' lovely accent was back, stronger than ever after two months in Wales, and so soothing to listen to. "Don't worry Moony," he said, "we'll make sure you're the worst Prefect Hogwarts has ever seen. You can be like a corrupt Auror, helping us from the inside."

"I'm so lucky you're my friend," Remus said sarcastically, eyes twinkling.

Sirius hummed, and the carriage was silent for a moment.

"So why aren't you with the others?" Remus asked again.

"I'm not allowed to want some time to myself?"

"No," Remus frowned, "of course you are. I just thought you'd be desperate to see James after so long."

"Well, I'm not." Sirius crossed his arms and shifted his body away from Remus, looking out of the window again.