fatal love

chapter 173

Things were worse, after Marlene died, especially among the Marauders. None of them had lost someone so close because of the war yet, not unless Sirius counted himself with Regulus. Which he did, but he was pretty sure he was the only one.

Everyone was quieter in the weeks that followed, any last remaining innocence they had held withering away and dying.

Sirius had written to Mary to tell her. He didn't think it would occur to anyone else to do that, but he thought she deserved to know. Marlene had been her best friend, and even if Mary had been on the other side of the Atlantic for the past couple of years, that was still true. He kept the letter short and to the point, and got a reply a couple of days later, but couldn't bring himself to open it, burning it instead. He'd done his duty.

He couldn't really bring himself to do a lot of things these days. One thing he did do was sneak into Alphard's and steal his old copy of Magick Moste Evil. Not for anything actually evil, he wasn't that far gone, at least not yet, but he used it after the October full moon. While Remus was sleeping the day away, exhausted as always, Sirius wiped up his blood from the floor, pocketing it into a vial.

He'd made sure to scratch Moony while they were playing, not hard, just enough to get the blood he needed to set proper wards around the house. So as Moony slept, Sirius grabbed his book and went outside, slicing his palm open and painting the front of the door with the right runes. Then he dipped his finger into Remus' blood, doing the same thing, reading from the page and making sure he got the incantations exactly right.

It was the best he could do. It wouldn't stop anyone from breaking in, but it would make it extremely painful for anyone who did. He wasn't going to let him and Remus become the next McKinnons, and too many people knew where they lived already. It had never occurred to Sirius to keep it a secret before now.

When it was done, he wiped the blood off, stashed the book away, and never mentioned it again.

Remus woke up that evening, and Sirius decided to just order a pizza, instead of doing anything fancy. They ate it on their laps, and Remus made his way through more than a few beers. They had been eating for a while before Remus spoke up.

"Thanks for last night," he said abruptly.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "What are you on about, Moony? You know I'd rather spend moons with you than have you off God knows where and coming back all injured."

"I know," Remus said, not meeting his eye, "but, you know... Thank you for feeling that way in the first place."

Sirius frowned, confused and a little wary. "What are you getting at here, Re?"

"I've just..." Remus sighed loudly. "Seeing Greyback, spending time with that pack... I could see what he expected me to become, when he bit me. He wanted to sentence me to that life, outside of society, having nothing."

"Okay," Sirius said slowly, "but he didn't."

"He didn't, but... oh fuck, I'm rambling. Nevermind, I'm sorry."

"You aren't rambling," Sirius smiled. "Go on, say what you were thinking. We never really talked about what it was like for you, being around him, did we?"

"Guess not." Remus shifted and faced Sirius properly. "I hate him," he said plainly. "I hate him, I can't remember not being a werewolf and he ruined my life, and he did it because he's evil."

"Sure," Sirius said, "that's all reasonable."

"I was going to kill him. That was my plan, and I wanted to do it, I wasn't conflicted or anything. I still want him dead, and I want to do it myself, I want to punish him for what he put me through, and I want him to pay with his life."