Third person's pov:
Hongjoong turns towards Wooyoung as soon as the camera is switched off. He's not furious but there's a dark tint of red on his face.
" care to explain?" he asks, his voice measured. Everyone in the room remains silent, even Yunho and Jongho. San tries to appear nonchalant as he continues to hold Wooyoung's hand.
Wooyoung on the other hand stares back at Hongjoong with an unreadable expression.
Wooyoung's pov:
My mind is frozen. I literally can't feel anything as I stare at Joong. Gay. I'm not gay.
I can't be gay.
I know he expects an answer but my mind whirs with thoughts I've struggled to keep away for seven years. The scar below my left ear starts prickling almost as if it were new, and not something that happened years ago.
Was being who I am so hard to accept?
"Gay" the cursed word keeps ringing in my ears as I look at Seonghwa. At Yunho. Mingi. Yeo and Jongho. I try to block the images invading my mind, a kid being thrown on the bathroom floor; a kid being bullied and beaten with no one there to help him.
His head being shoved into a wall till his blood left his mark of struggle.
I couldn't help him
How hard had it been to block the past away and start new? I'm living a life 13 year old me never would've thought I'd achieve. I have everything I could've asked for, everything I would've given that poor kid if I could. I have EVERYTHING.
But now that was being ruined. It was coming back. My future..my success. OUR success as a team; it's gonna go downhill just how my life did 7 years ago. And I'll end up failing to protect myself once again.
'cause no one was there to protect him wooyoung. and you got no one to protect you too
I'm brought back to reality by a sudden twitch of his fingers, still in my hand. nervous. he does that when he's nervous.
A sudden spark of anger ignites in me as I realize the cause of everything rushing back.
It's his fault this is happening. It's his fault I feel the way I feel. It's his fault people are talking It's HIS FAULT MY ACTIONS SPOKE BEFORE MY WORDS IT'S HIS FAULT THE THINGS I SPENT YEARS TRYING TO GET RID OF ARE COMING BACK
It's his fault that I care.
And once again I feel something break in me as I roughly pull my hand free without even sparing him a glance. The fire in my veins flows through my body and scorches through my heart as I label the new feeling I feel towards him.
Hatred. it has to be
YOU ARE READING
WOOSAN -Real
Fanfiction~In which you have to read to find out ~ ;)) *contains smuttish content, lspace, self harm/suicidal ideation, mentions of abuse.
