WOOSAN -Real

11

Seonghwa's pov:

I stare at the mess I created. I shouldn't have read that comment. shit

Joong's question remains unanswered for a good three minutes before I see Wooyoung yank his hand away from San's. Something looks off when he turns to face me and Hongjoong with a exaggerated look of nonchalance.

"Fan service" he replies with a smirk on his face before leaving the room as if nothing happened. I dare to look at San and see him still sitting where Wooyoung left him, his hand still half cupped around the space Woo's hand had been.

"well that was one way to handle it" Jongho says clearly emphasizing on his disapproval towards Hongjoong's tone. "C'mon Yeo. I got a few new video games to show you" he says while walking out of the room with Yeosang, not bothering to spare me or the others a second glance. 

Yeosang leaves with him after sharing a worried look with me and I turn to look at Joong. I wouldn't say the way he handled the situation was ideal but..as one of the oldest members I do get why he was so worked up on the situation.

Hongjoong doesn't look at me or anyone as he gets up to grab his phone from the table. I watch Yunho and Mingi leave the room silently with Yunho whisper yelling about something in Mingi's ear.

"ahem"

I turn my gaze from the door and back at Hongjoong who was standing over me. "You okay?" I ask as I get up and notice the frown lines around his mouth and the colour on his cheeks.

Anyone would have said he was angry, furious even. But I could read the worry etched in his eyes. Being the leader definitely took it's toll on you.

He looks straight at me for about half a second before blurting out "I was too harsh wasn't I?" I don't want to add more worry to his plate as I notice the dark circles forming around his eyes. 

still beautiful

"well.." I begin only to be cut off by him. "Hwa-- I could've handled it better couldn't I? I feel like an asshole now"

My heart melts at the sight of his face full of regret. He looks so tired that I just want to hug all of his problems and stress away. "hmm. maybe. You did sound a bit..mad. And--judgemental" I say in a soft voice.

"but other than that I believe everyone here understood your concern..It was just..a critical moment" I continue watching the boy in front of me pull at his hair follicles. 

Hongjoong lets this sink in before running his fingers through his hair in frustration, which I definitely would've found hot if this were a different situation. "urghh. I keep messing up. Again and again. I don't even know if I can do this anymore, hwa. I'm turning into this success chasing emotionless monster" 

I try to think of something nice to console him, anything. He overworks so much that I'm genuinely scared for him; I don't want him to go through a downwards spiral again. Like the one he had two years ago. But all I have is one question. A question I've been asking him for months. A question I've always gotten the same negative answer to.

I look at his frail body and wonder if he skips meals unnoticed by everyone. His forehead full of worry lines. And the tiredness in his eyes. I feel guilty for always assuming his coldness towards me was something personal. When I look at his face again I realize that I want to make him feel okay. I want him to feel better. And looked after just as much as he looks after all of us.

I want him to feel good.

I stare at him for another heartbeat before asking him my most rejected question.

"wanna come home tonight?"