WOOSAN -Real

94

San's pov:

I cut myself for the first time today. 

On my birthday. Ironic huh

I couldn't help it. I've seen the bruises and cuts on his arms before. The image of him digging his nails into the deep gash made by the kitchen knife is still raw in my brain.

It must do something

That was the thought that crossed my brain as I stared at the tall water glass on my bed stand.

I made sure to lock the door and muffle as much sound as I can with my pillow before I used my stone paper weight to crack the glass.

I stared at the little sharp piece with a jagged end for quite a while before being able to do what I did.

The pain made me gasp. In more pain.

Until it didn't.

Suddenly the words of others' that did this made sense.

It numbs the pain inside you, it distracts you, even overpowers the excruciating pain in your heart. 

I stare down at my arm before realizing that I'm staining the carpet.

"Well shit" I laugh and feel something in me change.

I feel happy. I feel extremely happy. I don't know why but I do. I kick my snake plushie across the room and laugh as it bounces off the wall before going still

I killed a snake I killed a snake.

Hah.

The room around me screams in color as I suddenly feel overwhelmed with happiness. 

"Yeahahhh" I laugh at my own voice, my hands shaking. Why are my hands shaking?

I skip towards my window and peer out. 

"It's a bright bright sunny day!" I sing happily as I stare at the moon. The footprints left on the snow below look like little people, dawrfs? 

I can swear they're moving!

I dig my nail into the skin of my thumb as a faint voice inside me tries to ruin the fun.

You're not happy San, you're just really really sad.

"Shut the fuck up" I snap at whoever it is that is trying to dim the euphoric happiness I feel.

Why am I so happy again?

I laugh as my memory goes blank. Oh well.

Who needs a reason to be happy anyways.

Speaking of.

"Aha!"

I hurriedly tug on my winter jacket and boots before grabbing my purse and rushing out the door. I don't bother fixing my hair because face it, I look amaaaaaaaaazing.

"Amaaaaaaaaaaazinggg" I holler into the night as I trudge through the snow. 

It takes me around 20 days to reach my destination. Luckily they're still open.

The bald guy with a moustache greets me in surprise.

"Hi there San! Never expected you to show up"

"Hi!!! I thought you'd be closed by now. But I'm glad you aren't cz I feel amaaaaaaaaz-"

"San? Are you already on one? You sure you want-"

"Devils spring please. No questions" I slightly panic as I feel my euphoria momentarily subside.

What am I doing here? Why does my arm sting?

"You sure-"

"Devil's spring. Tell me if that's too much work for you. I can always go to the bar next door" He doesn't say anything and disappears behind the counter and I feel my happiness return in waves.

"I took a pill in Ibiiiiza"

I nod at the clean shaven man next to me. He nods back at me before falling against the table.

"He took a pill in Ibiiiza"

I grin up at Mr. Baldy as he places my glass on the small round table in front of me.

"Tell me if you need anything okay? I'm always behind the counter" I nod at him knowing I'd have to ask for him as soon as this glass is done.

I ask for him again. He gives me a look before patting my head and giving me a refill.

And then I ask for him again.

And again.

And again.

And then I lose track on how many times I ask for him. I can no longer stand or walk without my legs feeling like jelly so I call out for him from where I am.

No more than seven refills, he says. I shake my head and cling onto his apron and he sighs before prying my arms off and bringing me a glass of water.

It does nothing to help my burning throat.

I lean backwards to check on Mr. smooth face. He looks dead on the table. Maybe he is dead.

Maybe I will die too. Hopefully.

I giggle at the burning sensation on my arm and try to figure out when our pet camel decided to maul me.

Gonna have to ground him for two weeks. Yup. 

I stare up at the dim light hanging from the ceiling. It looks like a sore throat. It just does.

I giggle some more before deciding to die too. 

I carefully copy the exact position Mr. Smooth face is in and rest my heavy head on the table. I wait for me to die.

Good bye Ibiza.