WOOSAN -Real

21

Wooyoung's pov:

I look up startled to hear the voice I least expected to hear.

Is he daft? How and why did he follow you after-  

The usually loud an unbearable voice is dim and easy to block away as I look up and meet his eyes this time. What is it I'm feeling? This is San, the man I'm supposed to be avoiding with all my might. Supposed to be.

Random words ring through my head but I manage to ignore them as I look up at him.

 Do I smile? Would that be weird?

"Wooyoung..What is going on?" I watch him walk closer to where I'm standing as I try to formulate an answer. "Did I do something wrong? Please just talk to me woo. Please"

Did he do something wrong? DID HE DO SOMETHING WRONG? HE'S THE REASON EVERYTHING'S RESURFACING YOU FOOL! AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO LOOK HIM IN THE FACE AND--

"N-no" I physically cringe at how pathetic my voice sounds. "No?" I can see the visible confusion on his face and I want to assure him, no, San, you haven't done anything wrong; yes, I will talk with you. But I can't. The noise in my head is getting louder and it's getting hard to block it out. Again.

I try to speak but hear a voice beat me to it; before realizing it's my own. "There's nothing left to talk about San. I simply will not be doing anything I don't want to." My body goes cold at the realization that I'm losing control again. This isn't me. This isn't what I want.

This is what you want. We want what's best for you, Wooyoung. Isn't that what we all want? Stop fighting it. You know you can't win , there's a hint of triumph to the hoarse voice in my head; my own brain triumphing over the pain it's putting me through. I try to focus on the surrounding I'm in, at San.

"Just stay the fuck away from me. I'd assume even a toddler with less than 60% brain skills would have figured shit out. I don't want you near me. I don't want anything to do with you. So back the fuck off you bastard" the voice continues to speak as I stand there like an idiot watching San take it all.

I'm better than this. Jung Wooyoung you're better than this. I press my nails against my skin as I try to shift back to reality; and for once my mind actually obliges. the voices quieten and I'm left standing in front of someone who I just insulted ft. a stinging pain from the nail marks that brought me back. One look at his face is enough to tell me that it was bad. Whatever they said to him. It was bad.

(A/N: Wooyoung refers to the voices as they)

"If you think I'm gonna sit back and take your attitude like a fucking dog you're wrong Jung Wooyoung. I've never done anything to hurt you. NEVER ONCE.  Even if I had we always fixed things didn't we? We used to have space for mistakes. LIKE NORMAL HUMAN BEINGS. So what happened to that huh? What happened to 'learning through mistakes'? What happened to talking things out? What happened to your fucking  'WOOSAN'?" I hear the pain in his voice even as the voices start talking again.

"What happened to the whole 'Friends till death thing'? Was that a joke too" I flinch at his words as I watch him push the nail of his index finger into the skin of his thumb. "Tell me that's a joke Wooyoung. Tell me that the whole soulmate theory was just something you cooked up for our fans. Tell me that none of the hugs we've had were genuine. Tell me the kiss you gave me that day before all this chaos unfolded was scripted. Fucking tell me Wooyoung"

I stare at him in silence, but not because I can't formulate my own answer this time. The voices are unusually quiet as I look at the man in front of me. My best friend. 

My soulmate

"You know what though? I know something that even you don't know" San continues with a loud controlled laugh. "I KNOW for a fact that you can't  tell me that any of the things I've said aren't true. I know for a fact that you can't deny that we exist. Us."  I feel my throat close up at the last word he speaks.