With A New You

𝘊𝘏𝘈𝘗𝘛𝘌𝘙 𝘛𝘏𝘐𝘙𝘛𝘠-𝘍𝘖𝘜𝘙

𝑇𝐻𝐼𝑅𝐷 𝑃𝐸𝑅𝑆𝑂𝑁 𝑃𝑂𝑉

          After spending the day with Yuuta, Megumi makes his way home. He feels comforted from being able to express his dream for a loving family to his close friend and that he wasn't told that his dream was ridiculous because Megumi didn't deserve it. He feels that way sometimes, unworthy of having a family filled with genuine love. With Sukuna, it's sweet and the sex is good but when it's bad... it's really bad. Megumi wants to die sometimes because of how bad he feels inside. 

       Standing outside his apartment complex is Sukuna, he's dressed nicely and he's holding a bouquet of roses. Megumi stops in front of the taller boy, a bit puzzled as to what Sukuna is doing. "Megumi..." His voice sounds pained, his expression regretful. Megumi reaches out, taking Sukuna's hand in his.

        "Let's... go inside." He whispers, leading Sukuna inside. The two say nothing to each other in the elevator, not even sparing one another a glance as they think about what they're going to say to each other. Megumi is wounded, he feels like he's been tricked and betrayed. If he would've known Sukuna would end up treating him this way, looking at him as if he just sleeps around and lashing out violently, he wouldn't have even started this relationship. But he did start it. They started it. Megumi cares about Sukuna and that is the most painful part of it all. Sukuna seemed meticulous about his appearance before coming here, he looks so handsome and mature that Megumi wants to believe Sukuna can change and be a better man. 

      Once they're inside, Sukuna speaks first. "I really have been fucking up lately. Megumi, I know that I was in the wrong. I don't get why you're close with your friends, I hate when they touch you because I only know two reasons why people would touch each other. Sexually or for violence and even then those can be the same thing. It doesn't make it right, I don't want your forgiveness. You shouldn't have to give it to me for hurting you and saying fucked up things that made you cry. Fuck, Uraume yelled at me for you. He's right sometimes and he was right when he said it was wrong of me to treat you that way. You're so fucking special, I love you more than anyone. I think about you the minute I wake up, I think about you all throughout my day and even in my dreams. I wonder if you ate, what you're doing, what you're talking about, I wonder if you're smiling, laughing, or if you have that cold expression that I love. I'm scared, Megumi. I'm scared someone is going to steal you away because I have too much baggage. I'm too much of a problem, I'm fucked up in a lot of ways and I'd be quick to blame you when really it's me."

      Megumi is rendered speechless as he sees tears forming in Sukuna's eyes. He doesn't think he's ever seen Sukuna truly cry before. He's trembling and he doesn't seem like such a scary man anymore, he looks like a broken child in Megumi's eyes. "You're the first person I have ever loved. I've never loved anyone, I don't even love Uraume in a family way and he's the only other person I talk to beside you. I love you, I really love you..."

       "Stop, please." Megumi wraps his arms around Sukuna's neck, pulling him closer and letting the taller cry into his shoulder. "You scare me sometimes and you make me feel really shitty about myself. I love you but you're always doubting me. I don't know what to do, Sukuna. You're breaking me but I don't want this to end. We're really not good for each other."

      Sukuna's hold on Megumi tightens, he feels like a fool for crying like a child but these foreign emotions are bubbling out of him. "I know..." He whispers. 

      "Please be nice to me, I'm really trying. I can't take more stress." Megumi feels tears blurring his vision. He tightly closes his eyes, holding onto Sukuna tighter. 

      "I won't put my hands on you, I'll really work on it. I promise to try." 

     Megumi feels like an idiot, he knows he should break this off. That he should break up with Sukuna, cry for however long it takes, and continue on with his life. This isn't healthy for him, his body and mental health can't take anymore. He just wants to feel happy again, to feel like a boy in love like he did when Sukuna took him out on their very first date before even becoming official. He's getting tired but being held by Sukuna is a temporary healing. 

       "Okay, I trust you." Megumi whispers.