collection of one shots about Andrew Garfield and his various characters.
Requests are open and will be happily accepted
DO NOT COPY/REPOST
I hope you'll enjoy:)
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TW: Talks about self- harm
Not really inspired by the entire song, just this sentence
"I love you," Andrew mumbled against my lips.
I grinned softly and wrapped my arms around his neck, "I love you too."
We kept kissing for a while, until Andrew started toying with my belt loops.
"Hm," I hummed as I pulled away and pressed my hands to his chest, lightly pushing him away from me, "sorry," I grinned.
Andrew chuckled and shook his head, "no I'm sorry," he grinned, "I got a bit carried away."
I cleared my throat, "do you mind if we don't..." I trailed off.
Andrew shook his head, "of course not," he wound his arms around me, "don't worry about it," he assured me as he pressed a soft kiss to my shoulder, "I understand you're not comfortable with having sex yet, that's perfectly okay, really, whenever you're ready."
I sighed, "it's not that I'm not ready," I mumbled, "nor that I don't feel comfortable with you." I inhaled deeply through my nose.
"Andrew," I let my hand rest against his unshaved cheek, "can I tell you a secret?"
Andrew nodded.
I sighed softly, "when I was younger I had a lot of struggles with my mental health," I began, moving so that my side rested against Andrew's, his arm wrapping almost as a reflex around my middle, "I was in therapy, I had to take a lot of meds and I was hospitalized a few times, but there was a time in which things just got too much for me to handle," I heaved a stammering breath.
Andrew rubbed his hand up and down my arm, "breathe," he instructed gently, "take your time."
I nodded and took a deep, steading breath, "I'm not proud of myself for what I did," I began, "but now, as an adult, I understand why my younger self would do that, and I can't help but feel a lot of pity for little me," I chuckled softly, "she went through a lot of shit but never really realized it until it was too late."
I laid my head sideways on Andrew's shoulder, "every time I'd shower, I would take my razor and cut myself on purpose, and if anyone would notice anything I'd just blame it on my clumsiness while shaving," I sighed softly, "I just wanted to feel something else rather than the storm going on inside of me, and the thing is, I didn't even feel the pain of the cuts, no matter how long nor how deep, but my hands longed to hold my razor between my fingers to do it again nonetheless."
I brought my hand up to rest on the back of Andrew's neck, playing gently with the baby hair there, "they're not that visible, the scars," I shrugged, "they are mostly on my tights, some on my knees, but I still don't like them, and I'm scared you're gonna hate them as much as I do once you see them, thing that would happen once we have sex."