Three ex-husbands and a marriage

Visiting the family

That night we perched on the rooftops of the Bai family's residence. The warm lights casted by hundreds of lanterns lit up the familiar architecture, walkways and gardens. My eyes traced the path through the gardens towards the watch tower. A nostalgic hum of the song of the cicadas rang through the otherwise still place.

An unexpected sting in my eyes brought forth tears that pooled unbidden. The watch tower was our secret hideout. Second Brother and I spent many days and nights here, sometimes in a comfortable silence as we painted and read and other times in conversations about anything and everything.

A cough by my side quickly pulled me back to reality and I hastily wiped the tears away. A heaviness remained in my heart as I deeply regretted my stubbornness. I never made peace with Second Brother as he rode away that day. Now it's too late and we're separated by a lifetime. If only I knew.

Hanli leaned over and wordlessly kissed my forehead, as if he understood my thoughts. I had accepted this man's familiarity without question. My experience is already so strange that nothing surprises me anymore and his presence is too comforting and warm. I clung onto it like I would to a life raft, something to help steer through the uncertainty of this world.

A sudden recognition shot through my spine. This feeling is similar to how I clung onto Second Brother and the Bai family. The feelings casted a momentary doubt in my heart. Am I useless? Can I survive without relying on others?

I sighed, this is my reality now and there is no point in dwelling on the past and the uncontrollable. Maybe I am useless, but isn't better to go wade through the murky world with others by your side? Maybe I could be considered lucky.

I looked at Bai Mingling's rooms and relived all the happy memories of my previous life. At least this time around, they survived and continue to live within their happy bubble.

"Look to your left, the Bai Regent and Madame Bai is leaving the great hall," whispered Hanli. His warm breath on my ear rolled down my neck sending pleasant shivers down my spine. This man has become more bold since our fall earlier and flirts unrestrainedly. I grinned and nodded.

My attention is now completely focused on the sight of Father Bai as he led Mother Bai towards their chambers. They walked hand in hand, laughing and blatantly flirting with each other and disregarding protocols. I chuckled at the embarrassed smiles from their servants. Seeing them so at ease and happy, my heart filled with warm emotions full of relief and love. I bit my lips and resisted my heart's desire to run into their arms and hug them.

I remind myself that I am now nothing to them but an observer. In their world, I don't exist and even though I am glad that the plot was changed, I could not help but struggle with a sense of loss. Seeing them so happy and oblivious of my presence made me realised that I truly lost this family, they are no longer mine. There is still a Bai Mingling but she is not me. Hanli's arm wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me closer towards him.

"The Bai family has continued to go from strength to strength. Despite a slight mishap a few months ago when the eldest daughter of the second branch ran away from home, the family has become more respected and powerful within this empire," said Hanli.

"They are good and talented people, pillars of the empire and just rulers of the province. I am glad. Did you find out about the youngest Miss Bai?" I asked.

"It was announced by Regent Bai that they will hold a competition to find a 'live in' son-in-law. Regent Bai has been said to love his daughter so much that they will not allow her to be married out. Even though she is rumoured to have a nasty temper and unladylike disposition, there have been hundreds of men who have signed up to compete," he replied.