Three ex-husbands and a marriage

Xiao Shi

"Wei Wei, we're done for..." muttered Mother Bai.

"Mother, you did well, very very well."

I stood behind her and wrapped my arms around her torso, wishing to give her a part of my numbness and soothe the fear away. My heart sunk as I absorbed the vibrations from her violently shaking and the heaviness as her body started to give way. A dull feeling of pity arose in my heart as I took in the sight within my arms. The petite figure seemed pitifully smaller, her thin and delicate facial features marred with purple and black bruises is now sprayed with ugly red specks of blood. She had slowly slumped to the ground, a look of disbelief masked her thoughts as she stared blankly at the dead man besides us.

"I killed..." she muttered and raised her blood drenched hands to inspect it closer.

"No...you saved me, Mother, listen to me, you did nothing wrong. You saved me!" I whispered with conviction.

She nodded dumbly and sat in silence as if waiting for my instructions. I sighed silently and I looked around at the slained bodies. I struggled to find a shred of remorse in my heart and that thought scared me. I looked down at Mother Bai and hugged her tighter as if to comfort myself. I understand the fear and complex adrenalin that courses through ones body when we kill for the first time. I sympathise with her, but I have long since lost that feeling.

I thought bitterly about myself. Since when had I become so callous and accustomed to killing? The act of taking another person's life is so horrific and yet I do it so simply now. Bandits, Bai To and now these men. I have no remorse and guilt, rather my mind is thinking about how to escape from the law unscathed.

My original self in the modern world would thought that killing was an impossibility.

So why is it so different now?

In this world, it is all different and a person's life has no consistent value. In this world, both villians and heros kill. They just kill for different reasons. Seeing how quickly I adapted to this world, I wonder if the environment forced me to kill or has there been a crazy inside me all along?

When I was Bai Mingling, I was sheltered and protected, but there was no doubt that if I had to, I would have killed to escape. Too bad Hu Xuan went on a rampage and ended that life too quickly.

As Muon Rui An, I had the authority and martial skills. I was the hero rescuing the Hu family from the bandits, but did I really need to kill them all? Shouldn't I have tied them up and allow them to be prosecuted by the law? After seeing what the bandits did to the Hu family caravan, my mind had blanked out and my body acted on instinct. Kill. Even that bloodlust didn't stop when I plunged the knife into my own heart. I wanted to escape from Man Chiu so desperately that it felt right. Besides, that knife was the best middle finger to that crazy person.

I laughed suddenly and drew Mother Bai's attention. She looked at me with questioning eyes and I felt alittle ashamed.

It appears that I have gone mad, a true murderer who enjoys the kill. When I stabbed Bai To, my only thought was how to get rid of the scum. I sliced these men's neck without blinking. My body still remembers Muon Rui An's fighting skills and I executed them cleanly. Their lives are as worthless to me as NPC characters.

"Wei Wei?"

"Mother, let us go, don't think too deeply about these people. They all deserved to die. Who knows how may people they have harmed and how many girls they have ruined? Let us not be overwhelmed by guilt as we acted in self defense," I said.

"Self defense? What is that? Wei Wei, a life taken must be repaid by a life. The law will punish us, and at the very least, Regent Bai will punish us. We should run away?...."