Three ex-husbands and a marriage

Old Friend

"Why are you so angry?" I asked, my voice a calm veneer barely masking the violent turmoil within my chest. It anxiously awaited his response, each beat a hammer against the cage of my ribs. A queasy unease, tinged with fear, threatened to unleash a suppressed fury within me. He turned, his back to me, facing the direction of Bai Mingling's retreating figure, leaving me to gaze upon the broad expanse of his shoulders.

"I am not angry. You will only be disappointed," he replied, his voice icy.

In that moment, I realized that his frosty words and demeanor had thrust us back to a time before our conquest. Our progress, the steps forward we had taken, seemed utterly meaningless against the magnitude of this leap backward. My pounding heart steadied, its throbbing drowned out by a grey blanket of sorrow that welled up from within. 

"Let her go and stop this torment," I whispered.

"I cannot."

"Why? You have conquered all three realms. I have surrendered all my powers to atone for my past sins and to support your rise to glory. Why must you still hold this against me? Man Chiu... neither of us even remembers what transpired back then. Give yourself and us relief from the past. Stop chaining us to something that happened too long ago," I said, my voice trembling. I longed to grab his shoulders, to shake some sense into him.

"Because we cannot remember!" he roared, his voice echoing through the hall. I staggered backwards, my weakened body suddenly drained of all strength, unable to stand up to him. "We are immortals. Everything we do weighs for all eternity. Humans can forget, and humans can die and restart their pitiful lives without the memories and responsibilities for their actions. But Demons and Celestials cannot and must not. That is the curse of our immortality. Jiang Meng, those who died have existed since the beginning of time and they will never be able to relive their lives. That is the one life they have. This is the one life we have. The ones who survived will be forever scarred by that loss. I cannot forget them. I must know the past!"

"What will become of us if we do remember?"

"I....I must know how much suffering we must face to atone for your sins."

I blinked, letting tears silently roll down my cheeks. The sharp pain in my chest returned, now more profound, even in his presence. I yearned to rip out my tortured heart.

"You can weigh up how much atonement can make up for the indisputable and irreversible past?" I asked in disbelief.

"Empress... no one can escape their past."

"You are too cruel," I murmured.

Wiping away my tears, I straightened my back. This time, I was the one walking away from him, each step a torturous defiance against the agony in my chest. I felt his intense gaze on my back, its heat diminishing with each step I took away from him, until it was no longer palpable. Lost in the vastness of the palace, each step was a painful struggle against the invisible pull he had on me, a force that seemed to tear into my very soul. I walked until my weakened body could bear no more, collapsing to the ground in a heap, coughing up blood.

Unable to move further, I lay there, drawing my knees to my chest. I buried my head against them, closing my eyes, wishing for some escape, some relief. Memories of the battle flashed before my closed eyes, offering no peace. Amidst my confusion, I heard the soft sound of metal brushing against the ground.

"Who's there?" I asked, my voice barely more than a fragile whisper, heavy with weariness. I lacked even the strength to lift my eyelids.

The footsteps ceased. I sensed a warm, perhaps pitying gaze upon me, the sort of gaze reserved for a fallen empress.