Strings of Fate

14- Moonlight Calling

After your conversation with Jin and Namjoon, everyone left you alone. You preferred it that way. You weren't allowed to close the door, but you stood by the window and watched the trees. You would have opened it if you hadn't been worried about upsetting the alphas of the house.

You didn't need to open the window to remember how the smell of fresh pine had lifted your spirits, how being on your own had been the best few days of your life. Sure, you had been starving, running from bloodthirsty alphas, and terrified you would be found, but you had been in control. You got to choose which path to run down, you got to plan for your future, for the first time in your life you got to do whatever you wanted.

But now you couldn't again. You were no longer in charge of your life, three alphas were. You were starting to regret meeting Jimin. It didn't matter how sweet and loyal he was, how nice Jin was, even how mild the rest of the pack was, you still were being restricted.

There was a current in you so strong, it fueled your entire body, pumped in the tiniest of veins, was wired to the core of your brain, and instinct so strong that it felt gut wrenchingly wrong to disobey it. That instinct was to run. You felt it now. Sometimes if you physically just ran, you could scratch the itch, but for the most part, your mind was always planning, always looking for options and opportunities to escape.

When you thought about building something with Jimin, committing to this pack, the urge to run made it impossible to picture what that would look like. You had imagined living a life free of alphas and you didn't know how to compromise on that.

They ended up leaving you alone up until dinner and even then you wished that you could skip dinner altogether and stay in the bedroom, but here they were, ushering you to sit at the table. You were used to isolation and you weren't sure you liked being with so many people.

It was loud at the table. Conversations were happening in and out of the link simultaneously, so you were only catching snatches of conversations. They would ask your opinion on something but whatever they had been talking about was fragmented and instead of asking them to explain, you just didn't answer.

It was like they were so used to doing it, that they didn't even notice. They were so used to sharing the link with each other, had a rhythm that you weren't a part of, that you may never be a part of. If you were their fated mate, like they claimed, and if you never were to feel the mating pull with them, they would never mate you and you would forever be on the outside looking in.

You felt uncomfortable and lonely and just wanted to go to bed and be by yourself. You were still raw from crying earlier and you could feel the tears building again. Before they could spill over, you shoved your chair back and retreated to your room, locking yourself in the bathroom to cry.

As you sat there on the bathroom floor, you couldn't help but feel that if you were alone, if you had made it on your own, you wouldn't be so upset right now. You wouldn't be feeling uneasy. You knew your alphas motives, they weren't a mystery to you anymore, but you didn't know this pack, you didn't know what they wanted and you knew you didn't fit in. They were happy and whole, and you didn't know how to be either.

"Y/N?" It was Jin's voice on the other side of the door. "Are you ok?" You didn't answer. There was another knock, "Honey? Can you come out?"

The thought of another one of his hugs was the only reason you got to your feet, wiping the remnants of your tears away as you opened the door. The small room was crowded with wolves and you cowered. Jin reached out to you but you didn't want his affection anymore.

"Come sit down," Yoongi commanded and you felt your omega compelled to obey. You sat on the edge of the bed and felt all of their gazes pressing into you. Yoongi, Namjoon, Hoseok, and Jin.