Kickdrum Beating in My Chest Again (Alternate Version)

Chapter 25

*******Trigger Warning for Drug Use, Graphic Violence, and Mentions of Rape*******

When Patrick wakes up on the floor of his cell, he feels so sick that he vomits immediately. He doesn't even make it to the toilet this time. That will be a fun mess to clean up. He looks around his cell and finds that Joe is not there and he is alone. He must've felt well enough to go to his job. Patrick gets up and runs to the toilet where he empties the contents of his stomach a few times. When he is done, He stands up and notices that his pants are torn and his bare ass is hanging out. He decides that he needs to sit down for a second, so he goes to his bed and sits down. He hisses from the pain. His ass is still sore from the previous events. He lays down on his side hugging his pillow for some comfort. As he lays there, he has flashbacks of what happened. They are almost more terrifying that when they were actually happening. Once he has laid there for a while and the flashbacks pass, he decides that he needs to clean himself and wash the dirt from the rape of, but first, he has to change his pants, so his ass isn't hanging out. Patrick changes his pants then stands and bangs on the bars of the cell.

"Guard!" He yells. He isn't surprised that Brad is the one to show up.

"What do you want, Stump?" Brad asks.

"I need to take a shower." Patrick answers.

"You've already taken your shower today." Brad says.

Patrick feels his eyes filling up with tears, which start spilling down his cheeks.

"Please Brad! You know what he did to me! You might've not been there to watch, but you were definitely within earshot. I feel so dirty and I smell like him! Please let me at least shower so I can wash off the dirt and his stench. I beg you!"

Brad looks at him for a minute and sees that he is crying. He's never been raped, but he does understand why Patrick is asking him to take a shower.

Brad takes a deep breath and says "Alright, fine. Get your stuff ready."

"Thank you!" Patrick says before he runs to get his shower stuff, some new boxers, a new prison uniform and a towel, and walks back up to the front of his cell.

Brad opens the door and Patrick steps out. Brad leads him to the shower rooms. Once there, Patrick opens the door and goes in. Brad follows him in.

"Um, Brad? Could I have some privacy? I promise I won't do anything stupid, like try to run. I just feel like, I've been on display enough today." Patrick asks.

"Fine. I will be outside the door. If you try anything, I swear, I will kill you myself." Brad says.

"Thank you." Patrick answers.

Brad turns around and leaves. Patrick turns the hot water up to as high of a temperature as he can handle. He undresses, grabs his shower stuff and stands under the water. The water stings when it hits the deep cuts on his eyebrows. Everything hits him all of a sudden and he starts crying again. He sits on the floor under the water, examining all of the bruises and the injuries, rocking back and forth for quite a while. He hadn't realized how much time has passed.

Brad opens the door and says "Everything ok in there, Stump?"

"Yes! I need more time." Patrick answers.

"Ok, but not too much longer." Brad says.

"Alright." Patrick says.

After that, he gets up off of the floor and starts cleaning himself. He scrubs himself so hard, that he scrubs himself raw, (it doesn't mess up the tattoos though) trying to wash off all of the dirt he's feeling from being raped. Patrick feels ashamed that it happened. That, somehow, it was his fault, even though Gabe was so much stronger and was also feeding on him, which made incredibly weak. He's never going to feel fully clean after what happened, but when he decides he's clean enough, he shuts off the water, wraps his towel around his waist and moves to the locker room, where he dries himself off and gets dressed in a new orange prison uniform. He sits on the bench for a minute to try and clear his head. Finally, he stands up, gathers his shower stuff and walks out of the room. Brad is there waiting for him. He looks over at Patrick and notices that his skin is bright red and looks pretty raw.