Hooked (yandere hazbin hotel/helluva boss x angel reader)

chapter thirty five: three annoying little shits (C.H.E.R.U.B. pt 3)

The three cherubs had moved Lyle's bed out to his spacious backyard, blitzø wearing a tiger costume, Millie wearing a pink cat costume and moxxie wearing a black cat costume, and you, wearing a goat costume, blitzø insisted you wear it, because it matched your ears and all. But it was pretty loose on you, but still adorable nonetheless.

"Look around, Lyle. God's gift of nature is a wonder to behold." Cletus Said, gesturing to all the woodland before them. "Regardless of age!" He winks at Lyle, "or wealth!"

Collin comes up to him, looking all around before looking at Lyle, "if you were to end you're life, you'd be missing out on aaaaaall of this!" He says turning to look at the spacious out back.

Blitzø moves up next to him, his arm thrown over your shoulder as he looks at Lyle, "mm-hm. You're gonna buy that load of shit from a baby and the sheep it fucks?" Blitzø says with zero care, making sexual gestures with his hands as keenie gasps in disgust,

"That is so inappropriate!" She cries out, you scoffed, "oh, shut up you prune, you can come over here and kiss my ass if he's so wrong." You say, causing keenie to glare at you, Cletus was equally disgusted and annoyed, she doesn't move too, it was pretty clear they both fucked, blitzø was definitely right on spot with that.

Blitzø shoved Lyle to the side by the face, making room from him and and you as he looks back at Lyle. "Aaaanyway, take it from me, a fellow genius. Nature is no picnic up close."

He hands Lyle a pair of binoculars to look through, moxxie had brought his fanny pack which is where the binoculars came from of course.

Lyle looked through the binoculars at a fluffle of bunnies, and a few squirrels with this bunnies happily eating nuts. Adorable as all hell, until a group of wolves pounce from the bushes, tearing into the little bunnies and squirrels. "Ohhhh, noooo!" Lyle cried out watching the animals as Collin struggled to take the binoculars from him.

"S-Stop looking!" He said shakily as Lyle's grip tightened on the binoculars. "I CAN'T stop! I've never wanted to die more than I do now!"

A brown grizzly bear comes swiping out the woods, swiping and tearing into the wolves who had been aggressively eating, it raises It's massive paw to attack, only to be crushed by a falling tree that had been cut by a big beefy logger, who then has a beehive land on his head which had fallen from the tree, he tosses his chainsaw up carelessly, which comes straight back down cutting both his arms off. Causing him to scream more before getting impaled by a large buck.

You and blitzø watch unfazed, well, blitzø mostly, you've gotten kinda used to the gore that came with working for blitzø. Cletus, keenie, Collin and Lyle all stare in silent horror, collectively upset and disturbed.

Cletus smiles nervously speaking with a shaky voice, "uh- let's go check out someplace else!" Millie and moxxie fist bump, taking that as a win.

With a snap of cletus's fingers you, blitzø moxxie and Millie were teleported to a mall, Cletus shoves the bed right through the mall wall, where a bunch of kids were meeting a mall Santa.

"Oh, lord! Where are we now?! Let me perish!" Lyle begged, disinterested in the children, keenie flew in front of him, "We're here to show you another thing life is worth living for: childhood wonderment!" She gestured to the happy blissful children meeting Santa.

"Why... look at those sweet, disease-ridden vermin. Th- Their joy comes from innocence, unspoiled by the burdens of adulthood... and their middle-class existence! Such simple joy they have. It is inspiring. Thank you for showing me this." Lyle said looking at the kids finally, you move up to the mall Santa, blitzø had switched costumes so you were wearing a reindeer costume while moxxie got stuck with the Rudolph costume, Millie and blitzø wearing elf costumes.