Dark night of the soul

Chapter 62

Jessica's POV
we walk into the hospital and a woman walks up to me with a wheel chair, thank god I need this, I'm in so much pain. We get allocated to a room and a doctor asks me to change into my gown which is a relief, I don't think I can keep these leggings on anymore. I feel torn.
I lay down on the bed and the doctor checks if everything down below is alright. "We'll Mrs Lange you are going to kneed stitches" he explains. I nod.
I begin to get nervous. "Is this going to hurt?" I asked quite embarrassed. "Not at all, if you have just given birth, you'll hardly feel a thing" he says.
He sterilises the needle and dissolvable thread and starts sewing.
I could only feel slight punches throughout the op but there was not much pain.
Once he finished he checks other necessary things such as my blood pressure, he palpates my stomach and just asks me how I am in general.
"Well Jessica everything seems to be okay, you will need to stay for two nights and your baby will need to stay in an incubator for another six weeks" he explains. "Is he okay?" I ask. "He is fine that we know of, we are just checking everything now and we will let you know the results as soon as we can" he says. "Okay, thank you" I say and he excuses himself.
Sarah comes back in the room with two cups of coffee. "How are you feeling baby?" She asks in a sympathetic tone. "Well he had to sew me up" I say looking down. I felt ashamed, Sarah won't want me after this. "What's wrong?" She asks. "You're not going to want my body all torn and disgusting." She starts to laugh. "You think it's funny?" I'm confused. "Jess, I don't love you because of what you look like. I love you for what you're like on the inside. Yes your body has changed, but it will go back to normal in no time baby. Think about this, I'm pregnant and in six weeks I'm going to be here in the same position as you and I will be feeling the exact same way. I love you so much, and I'm not going to leave you because your body has slightly changed." Her words make me cry. "I love you baby" I say and pull her in for a sweet kiss.
"Are you still in pain?" She asks. I nod yes, "has the doctor given you anything for it?" "Yes he's given me pain killers which I need to take shortly."
We sit there for a while just talking, then there is a knock on the door and the doctor who was in here earlier answers.
"Hello mrs Lange, Mrs Paulson. I'm back with the results." He says walking closer.
"Well, he will have to stay in the incubator for six more weeks as you know, also your baby is very underweight and has under developed lungs so he will have breathing difficulties." He explains.
My heart feels heavy. "Is he going to be okay?" Sarah asks. "With enough help he will, which we will definitely give" he explains.