Dark night of the soul

Chapter 116

*Sarah's POV*
"Sarah! Sarah!" I heard my mother shout. She wraps her arms around me. My whole body was shaking. I couldn't think. I couldn't speak. I couldn't breathe.

My breath hitched and I began to panic. Tears were streaming down my face as I tried to breathe but it was no use. I watched as the doctors and nurses try everything they can to get her back. They fumble around as they try to pump her chest, giving her CPR.
They press on her chest over and over again for minutes.

It's not working.

A nurse takes out paddles and presses them on Jess's chest trying to get her heart to start. "Push three on epi" she shouts. (Idk if this is right I'm not a doctor I just watch greys anatomy so sorry)
"Clear" she says and everybody takes their hands off my wife, preventing the electric current from passing into them too.

No response.

"Clear" she shouts again.

I keep my eyes fixated on the monitor. There's a heartbeat. One heartbeat.

"Sinus rhythm" another nurse says which builds up my hope. I hear the monitor beeping slowly but the beats aren't as regular as they should be.

My mother tries to pull me out of the room but I won't have it. "Sarah you cannot watch this!" she shouts.

A nurse makes his way over to us and tries to take me out of the room. "If you want us to help her then you need to leave" he orders as my mother practically pulls me to the door.

"But what if she dies, this will be the last time I see her. She hasn't even seen her children yet" I cry.

My mom pulls me one last time and I'm out of the room. Somebody closes the door, all I can do is slide down the wall and breakdown on the floor. "I didn't even get to tell her that I loved her. What if she dies mom" I cry in her arms.

(A/N: I'm not sure if anybody else experiences panic attacks this way but I have done and it's the way I try to calm myself down so don't judge me like Becca why are you so stupid this doesn't help calm people down blah blah blah😂😂)

My breath hitches and my heart begins to beat uncontrollably. It's beating so fast I feel as if it will burst out of my chest any moment now. My breathing becomes quicker and quicker and my chest tightens.

The wave of panic that has come over me is unbearable. I stand up and begin pacing back and forth as tears were gushing out of my eyes. "No, no, no, no" I whisper to myself.
My mom tries to hug me but I don't want to be touched right now. I need to be alone. "mom please don't" I say. She backs away and gives me space.

"I can't do this, I can't do this." I carry on pacing the corridor until I'm noticed by a familiar face. I'm tapped on the shoulder and I turn.
I'm asked to follow him to a room and I'm sat on a bed.
"Here take these" he says. I thank him and take some pills that calm me down a treat.
"How did you know I needed these?" I ask. "On your medical records it states that you have anxiety and I know an anxiety attack when I see one." He says.

I nod uncomfortably, not knowing what else to do. Finally, after a few moments, my breathing goes back to normal and my heart beat is steady. Those pills worked a treat.

"So.. Have you thought about giving me a ring?" He asks. I try to find the right words. "Dr Wilson" I begin. "Please, call me Morgan" he says flashing me his white grin, clearly trying to flirt.

"That woman who you operated on is my wife" I try to say in the nicest way possible. His grin turns to an embarrassed frown. "I am so sorry" he says. I begin to laugh. "Oh don't be, Morgan. I'd love to keep in touch though. Maybe we could be friends, I'm always open to new people" I say with a smile.
He scratches the back of his neck and nods slowly. "Sure" he says.

Finally after calming down I walk out of the room and back to my mother. As I see my mother talking to another woman I come to a halt.

"Hannah?"