Dark night of the soul

Chapter 138

*Sarah's POV*

Get your shit together Sarah, you need to tell her. This needs to be today. You can't tell her on your first day home, nor can you wait.

I pace back and forth wondering what to say then I finally pick up the phone and dial my wife's number.

What if she hates me when I tell her? I can't loose her, not after everything we've been through.

The phone rings and deep inside I'm hoping that she won't pick up but then I hear her chirpy voice. "Hello?" She answers.

"H-hi Jess, can you please come to rehab. I really need to talk to you."

"Can't you just tell me on the phone doll?"

"No, this is important Jess. Please come, but don't bring the kids" I say. She agrees to come and tells me that she will see me in three hours. Great that gives me more time to panic.

I go up to my room and pace back and forth. "Hi baby" I hear someone come in the door. I turn. It's Auburn.

"We need to talk" I say sternly.

I sit down on the bed and she sits beside me.
"Auburn, what we did last night was not right. You're my friend and I want nothing more. Last night, I drank alcohol with my pills and I guess I hallucinated and thought that you were Jess. I would never have slept with you if I knew..." I begin but she starts to cry.

"Why does nobody want me. I love you Sarah, why can't you understand that. We are meant to be. We were hurt by the same person and we understand each other. You're my soulmate." She says, crying me a river.
"No sweetie, this isn't how it works. I'm married, happily. I am in love with my wife and you're very vulnerable right now, you'll realise soon that I'm not right for you, I promise."

"No Sarah, if I can't have you, nobody can." She storms out of the room.

Well fuck.

***
The three hours passed and I go out into the car park to meet Jess. "Hi Sar" she comes up to me kissing me passionately, like she hasn't seen me for ages.

I take her over to a bench, as it is a lovely day and so we can have some privacy. I've got a feeling that she's going to make a scene.

"Jess" I begin.
"So yesterday, after you left Auburn had a breakdown and began to smash everything in our room. I'm comforted her and all she said was "I hate you" so I ignored her and just hugged her. Later on that night, as you know me and Auburn had alcohol but I also had my pills and I didn't realise that taking my pills with the alcohol would mess me up so bad. Anyway, she turned to me and at this point I was already fucked up, Off my nut drunk, and she said that she didn't hate me and then she said that she loved me. I told her that I loved her too, as a friend. I tried to make it less awkward and get out of the conversation by getting a blanket from my bed but the next thing I know you were in front of me kissing me and..."
"But I wasn't with you last night Sarah." She states with fumbled brows. "I know Jess, the next thing I know it's the next day and I'm in bed with Auburn...naked."
All of a sudden I feel pain in my cheek and I realise that Jess slapped me.

Okay I deserve that

I flinched, waiting for another slap or her angry words. But nothing comes.
I look up at her and she's got one eyebrow raised. "Say something Jess..." I plead. "That's it" she said.

I look at her confused.

"Jess I cheated on you, well I thought that it was you but I still cheated on you. Aren't you going to tell me how angry you are with me or how much I've let you down or something?"

I am so confused

"Sarah" she takes my hands "you didn't know what you were doing, you thought it was me and you told me about it which I am grateful for. Yes I'm upset that you cheated on me but I'm more angry with Auburn. She knew that you're married to me and she knew that you were under the influence of alcohol mixed with pills. You're my wife and I love you very much and I will do everything in my power to keep us from falling apart, especially after everything we have been through together. Just remember that you forgave me Sarah.." She bows her head after bringing up the time she slept with Daniel.

I remember all of the times she has apologised to me for what she had done, I knew that she felt guilty for sleeping with the man that practically ruined my life.

"Have you spoken to her today?" She says through clenched teeth. I can tell that she most likely hates Auburn now.

"I told her this morning that I didn't want to be anything other than friends, I said that I was devoted to you and only you. You're the only woman I love and will ever love Jess." I take her hands in mine, making myself feel warm inside.

She nods but doesn't say a word.

"Do you want to hit me again?" I still feel awfully guilty for breaking vows.

"Yes I do Sarah but I'm not going to" she laughs, brightening the mood.

(A/N- I might end this story soon I'm not sure. I don't want to drag this story on making it worse. If I do end the story then I might write another Jessie and Paulsie fanfic.
Ily guys thank you for all the reads❤️)