Dark night of the soul

Chapter 6

*Sarah's POV*
that night, I go and have a bath. I put in bubbles that smell like limes. I get in and wash. Then I just sit there and I relax. I can't get what happened out of my head. I feel tears rolling down my cheeks and I realise that I'm scratching at my skin. I take my razor and pick at the plastic. I think about what I'm doing for a moment, and I carry on, picking at the plastic to get the blade out.
I slide the blade along  my arm near my wrist and I instantly felt a rush. Trickles of blood rolled from the wound down my arm. It felt so good, like I was letting all the bad things out. A release.

I heard Jess knock on the door, which she normally did before she entered. I quickly dipped my arm underwater, so she couldn't see what I just did. The bubbles made the slashes sting, but I endured the pain. Jess entered the bathroom, and smiled. She was in her silk nighty and robe. She faces the mirror and begins to have a wash. Once she's finished she begins to smooth body lotion on her soft legs.
She stands, and pulls her arms through the straps of her dress, and it falls to the ground.

I get up out of the bath, making sure she can't see my arm. I dry myself then put my robe on. I put some cream in my hands, turn her around and massage it into her back, knowing that she's stressed.
I snake my arms around her waist, pulling her body closer to mine, needing her comfort. She kisses me, wanting more.

I felt so uncomfortable. Flashbacks from the night before started swimming around my mind. "Wait Jess.. I don't think I'm ready yet, can we just wait please?" I plead. "Of course, I'm sorry, we can wait as long as you like". She kisses me gently then leads me to the bedroom.
I felt guilty for leading her on them stopping before anything more could happen.
I crash my head onto the pillow and fall asleep almost instantly.