Dark night of the soul

Chapter 112

*Sarah's POV*
*play music (quietly) here*
Six hours into the surgery the doctor walks into my room.
"Hello Mrs Paulson. Your wife is now out of surgery. She had a brain contusion which lead to a brain haemorrhage. Due to the contusion your wife will suffer from memory loss but it will only be short term memory loss meaning that she will gradually remember her memories. The neurosurgeon has got the bleeding under control but your wife will also suffer from numbness and she will have difficulty with motor problems.
Due to the severity of the contusion there is a chance that she may not wake up. At the moment her vitals are stable and she is under the best supervision and we are doing everything to help her." The doctor explains. I try to process everything he has said. I knew it. There is a chance that I will have to give orders to pull the plug. I'm not ready to loose her yet.

"May I see her?"

"Yes, would you like me to help you into a wheelchair and I can take you there?" he asks.

"Please"

He helps me into the wheelchair and wheels me down to her room. She's hooked up to machines and drips. Her head is bandaged. She looks like she has been through hell.
The doctor wheels me up beside her and gives me some privacy.

I take her hand.
"We're going to get through this Jess. Please get better. You need to fight, fight for us, for the children. I need you. I can't go on without you. You're my rock, my world. You're everything I live for."
I begin to cry with my head beside her. My head was on the bed and my eyes were closed as I clung onto her hand for dear life.
"I don't know how to live without you. I can't breathe without you, you know? You're so special to me, you're the one who never fails to put a smile on my face no matter what the situation is. You always comfort everybody and you're so understanding. You deserve the happiness given back to you. You've always been the person who kept me alive. This is me repaying you Jess, I'm going to keep you alive no matter what okay. You just need to wake up. Please... Please wake up."

My heart continues to sink in my chest as it rapidly beats. My breathing is shallow and quick and the lump in my throat just gets bigger and bigger.

I find it difficult to breathe each second.

The tears are rolling down my face uncontrollably. I can't stop this feeling. This feeling of emptiness.

I feel somebody gently rub my head soothingly. "I'm not going to leave you." A calm raspy voice says.