Dark night of the soul

Chapter 9

*Sarah's POV*
I woke up on the sofa in Jessica's arms, she must have carried me there. I sat up and told Jess that I was going to have a bath. I sighed as I undressed and examined the bruises on my ribs and the cuts on my arm. Why am I so stupid, so worthless. I don't even deserve Jess, she's so perfect and then there's me who cuts herself. I'm a failure. I hop in the bath, and lean my head on the back letting my thoughts take over me.
The flashbacks begin again of what happened that night at paleyfest. I feel tears rolling down my cheeks, and my arms begin to itch. I feel an urge to hurt myself again. God, what I have I gotten myself into. I take the blade I hid in my trouser pockets and slide it on my arm. Spots of red began to appear. The first one didn't do much damage, so I carried on. The I began to make a second cut, this time pressing the blade in harder. Scarlet red blood began to run down my arm, the rush I had from this was indescribable. I couldn't stop, I carried on cutting in the lower section of my arm. I decided to stop before it got out of control. I quickly washed myself and wiped away the blood, cleaning the fresh cuts. Even though it hurt, I had to do it, I didn't want an infection.
I got out of the bath and put a towel around me. I made my way into our bedroom and quickly put on some clothes. I put on a long sleeved jumper and jeans and made my way to the living room where Jess was. "Jess do you want to go out for lunch today?" I asked sitting down on the sofa with her. "Sure baby, where to?" "I don't mind, you pick" i can hear my stomach grumbling. Jess picks up her keys and we make our way to the car. She drives us to my favourite Italian restaurant. We wait inside the door waiting to be seated. Soon enough a woman greets us politely and shows us to our table. We both order our food and red wine. Our drinks are brought to us and we are told that our food will be ready in 15-20 minutes. We thank the waitress and she walks off into the kitchen.