Dark night of the soul

Chapter 151

*Sarah's POV*
I sit down on a stool as Jess paces back and forth in front of me, scratching her collarbone, trying to figure out what to do.
"Well, she could put our children in danger, she could put any one of us in danger Sarah. What the hell are we meant to do? Move house? Flee the country? We can't keep doing this Sarah, when will this all stop? First it was Daniel now Auburn? What will happen next?" Her voice gets louder and I flinch at her words as if she was directing them to me, blaming me.

"You know Sarah, this wouldn't have happened if you didn't sleep with the girl." I can tell by her facial expression that she regretted what she said.

"Sarah, god, I'm so-"

"Just save it Jess" I mutter and walk out of the front door.

How could she just say that? I was hallucinating, she wasn't hallucinating when she slept with my...

Him, when she slept with him.

I need to see Melissa.

***

"Sarah, you know that we both signed a contract which stated that if I think that you're in any sort of danger I need to tell somebody. I don't know how long I can keep this to myself." Melissa says.

Damnit.

"Please just leave it for a little longer, maybe she's just trying to frighten us, I'm just going to take this whole situation with a pinch of salt until something happens. I'm going to be fine."

But that's just it. Telling people that you're fine is so much easier than telling them why you're sleep deprived or the fact that even a slight reminder of that one thing, that one person will trigger you and you cannot stand to be around anybody, to talk, to eat. You can't think straight, the only thing on your god damn mind are the flashbacks.
The worst thing is, the one thing that helps you through those times, you've quit. You're trying to stay away from it for yourself and your family and yet, it's the only thing you think about the minute you wake up and you can't tell anybody.
All I can think about is that first scratch against your skin and the three dots of blood that appear. The first incision leads to several more and before you know it you're covered in the resentment you pay yourself.