Dark night of the soul

Chapter 136

*Sarah's POV* (3 days before she's released) *play music*
I sit on my bed with Auburn, eating the pizza Rita ordered us considering it was Auburns birthday today and the fact that fast food usually calms her down when she has an episode.

*flashback*
Jessica had just left. She had came for her weekly visit, this time I asked her to bring some alcohol because it's Auburns birthday. I snuck it into my room and hid it in the wardrobe before Auburn or the staff could see.

We were in the commons room (idk if that's what it's called) and the news was on the TV. Me and Auburn were chatting away until we heard that one name. Daniel Sallis Huston. Immediately we both went silent and stared at the TV.
"Today, an incredibly emotional day for Daniel Huston's family, friends and fans. Hundreds gathered around for his memorial service, which is being held a long time after his death. Many people have come from around the world to celebrate the great actors death.."

I zoned out when Auburn stood up and ran to her room. I followed. "Auburn!" I shouted after her.

I open our bedroom door and find Auburn throwing objects around the room. I sit on the bed, dodging everything she threw. I let her get it out of her system.

Minutes went by and Rita ran into our room. Gosh does she have eyes everywhere?
"Rita I can handle this, I'll call you if I need to" I smile and she nods making her way out of the room.

"WHAT" *throws object*
"A" *throws object*
"FUCKING" *throws object
"TURD BURGLAR" *throws object*
She shouts. She drops to her knees after practically smashing everything in the room, including punching the walls and ripping down the curtains.

I let her cool off for a moment then I kneel down beside her. I hold her in my arms as she shakes uncontrollably and screams. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, get off!!"
I hold her tighter, not letting her words get to me. "I hate you too" I chuckle trying to lighten the mood. After minutes of struggling to get out of my arms, she finally realises that I'm not letting her go and she calms.
"Auburn, darling, it's all over now. He was the one holding the blade, making wounds on our wrists but now it's time for us to understand that the pain we are experiencing isn't what we want. We need to stop him and clean the wounds. What are you going to do, help the wound heal or continue to let him draw your scars. Listen to me, the moment he was gone was a moment of realisation to me. After all that had happened I would tell my wife that my glass was half empty but you should always look at the best side of one object. The glass wasn't half empty but simply half full and that is the way you should look at life. Don't complain about the past because it will always be your past, your future will not change what has happened but it's about looking forward to the future in order to overcome your dark past. That one night will always be a dark night in your soul (see what I did there😏😂) but are you going to let that change the way you live your future. Each day is a new opportunity so take it. You're so so strong and I know that isn't what you want to hear right now but I believe you're strong. I look up to you Auburn and whether you like it or not I'm going to help you through this. This isn't the end for you."

Her crying lessens and she stops shaking.
"Don't let him ruin your day, he's not worth it" I kiss her on the top of her head.
We stay in the same position for about ten minutes, then I stand up and begin to pick up all of the sharp objects.
"Ouch" I say dropping a piece of glass that just sliced my hand.

I stare at the drops of blood forming on my palm. My heartbeat races and my breath hitches, I need more..

I try to take my mind off it by cleaning the rest of the room. I tell Auburn that I'll be back shortly and I take all of the rubbish and ask the janitor where to take it. He smiles and takes it from me. "Thank you!"

I then make my way to Rita's office.
I knock on the door, shortly after I hear "come in"

"Auburn is okay, she's getting some rest. I was just wondering, considering that it's her birthday and she just had a mental breakdo-" "what do you want from me Paulson" she laughs. "Here's some money, do you think you could order me and her some food from the pizza place. I know it would mean a lot to her, fast food makes her happy, it's makes everybody happy. Puhhlleassee" I say giving her my signature puppy dog eyes. "Urgh fine, I'll order it for nine o clock." She huffs giving into me. I giggle. "Thank you so much! Here's some money" I say slapping some notes onto her desk and leave the room.

*flashback over*

After half an hour of deciding which film to pick, we finally chose '50 first dates'.

"Wait, I've got a little something for us" I say whilst the adverts for other movies played. I walked over to the wardrobe and pulled out a bottle of red wine and some tequila. "LETS GET THIS PARTY STARTED" I shout and she screams with happiness.

I poured some wine into plastic cups and we watched the film eating our pizza.

Half way into the film, Auburn turns to me but I keep my eyes fixated on the screen. My head was spinning, we had already drank three quarters of the tequila and all of the wine. The alcohol plus my pills made me feel more drunk than usual. I couldn't think straight.

"Sarah" Auburn begins.
"Mmhm" I mumble with a mouthful of pizza (me all day everyday)
"I don't hate you" she says and I swallow.
"I know" I laugh.
"I love you" she says quickly. My eyes widen and I turn to her. "Yah I love you too haha" I say hoping that she only meant that she loves me as a friend. I only love her as a friend.

"No Sarah, I don't think you understand" she begins and I stand up. "I'm going to get a blanket I'm cold" I say trying to change the conversation.

I turn around, and Jess is standing in front of me. "I'll warm you up" she says gently and presses her lips to mine. I respond to her kiss, although this time, she feels different. Our kiss gets heated. "I need you-" I begin but she cuts me off by pushing me against the wall. I've needed Jessie's touch for so long, I hate being trapped in here.

She pulls my shirt above my head and I do the same to her. My hands roam around her body, but again, this feels different.
I brush it off and carry on.

***

(A/N- I was going to write another story but the people I asked didn't get seem too chuffed so imma just stick with this shit😂😂😂😘)