Surviving Heartbreak

Whole Enough?

I just want to be loved,
That's all I know.
I keep giving pieces of myself
To people who don't know
How to love me right,
How to hold me the way I need.
They want one thing,
One fleeting moment,
And I—
I want the whole damn world.

You say I'm fuckable,
But you won't do it with me,
Confused,
I wonder why—
Is it because you care?
But if you cared,
You'd change,
You'd love me right,
You'd give me more than just your body,
You'd give me your heart,
But instead, you pull back,
Afraid to hurt me,
But not afraid to leave me empty.

I give and I give,
But I don't know where to put it all,
I keep running from the silence,
Trying to escape the echo of my own heart,
Hoping the noise will drown it out.
But every distraction ends,
And all I'm left with
Is the weight of my own longing.

I'm tired of being empty,
Tired of filling myself with distractions
That never quite reach the part of me
That really matters.
I want to feel something,
Even if I know it's not forever.
I want love,
Not just a body,
Not just a moment of heat
That burns too bright
And leaves me colder than before.

I don't know how to sit with this,
This ache,
This craving,
This part of me that feels too deep,
Too much,
Too unworthy
Of the love I give.

But I'm learning
That I'm not broken
For wanting to be seen,
Not just used.
For wanting more than what's convenient.
I am worthy of the kind of love
That doesn't just say I'm beautiful,
But that chooses me
Again and again.

So I will wait.
Not for someone to come
And fill the empty spaces,
But for the kind of love
That will see me whole,
And make a home
In my heart.

—MistakenGenius