I can't believe it's been almost a year since I've written. But I guess it makes sense. I started writing to say the things I felt like I couldn't say out loud. I don't know exactly what changed. Maybe medicine helped to balance out the chemicals in my brain. Maybe therapy is finally paying off. Maybe when life becomes much quieter, that's when everything starts to make sense.
Today I'm proposing to Eleanor. There was a time, many times actually, that I didn't think we'd make it here. I haven't prepared a speech or anything. I just figured the right words would come to me which I'm stressing about now. I'm going to do it at the aquarium. That's what made the most sense to me. If you told me a year ago that we'd be here I wouldn't believe you. But after everything we've been through I don't know how it could be anyone else but Eleanor. I can't imagine wanting to wake up next to anyone else for the rest of my life. I can't imagine a better person to spend my life with. Maybe to have a family with if that's something we decide.
